Endurance
by FireflyBullets
Summary: *COMPLETED**Spoilers Ahead!* They called it "living rough", but it was the only type of living Helix Reyne had ever known. She's afraid of the Force, and has never seen a swimming pool or a sandwich. But her life has been all about adapting, and so adapt she must, following her brothers right into the Resistance.
1. Day-To-Day

**Author's Note:** _Its been a while since I got back into the writing game. I need to know if this is any good, so if you decide you like it, let me know (by clicking that review button). If you decide you don't like it, do me a huge favour and hit the review button as well._

 _Thisnis set almost two years after the events of_ Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens _, and **it will contain SPOILERS. If you have not already familiarised yourself with the events of the film, please do so before reading this story.** I mean, it really is a great film, why haven't you seen it yet?_

 _I own nothing that is rrecognised as created by George Lucas or JJ Abrams. Just the OC's. And the plot._

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

Helix exhaled slowly before releasing the arrow. It thudded into the tree, close to the centre of the red target that had been painted on the trunk. She relaxed, lowering the bow, and smiled. Even Keslin wouldn't be able to deny she was improving.

Collecting the shoulder quiver and her spare arrows, she walked to the tree and pulled the arrows she had fired from the trunk. The sky would be darkening soon; it was time for her to return home. Carefully, she slid down the damp slope of the mountain, jumping the last few feet to the valley floor. Once, a creek had run through this part of the forest but time had diverted it to the the nearby lake.

"Cutting it close, aren't we?"

Helix spun around, throwing a knife so fast she hadn't entirely been aware of grabbing it. The young man leaned to his left and the blade missed his messy dark hair by a few inches, sailing past him and thudding into the tree he had been leaning against. He looked at the small knife, then at Helix, arching an eyebrow. "You've been practising?"

"It's more than you've been doing," she replied. He pulled the knife out of the tree with apparent difficulty, before jumping down from his perch on the exposed roots and holding it out for her to take.

"You know very well that I practise other things, sister," Loren told her softly. She snatched the small knife from his hand and muttered irritably as she turned away.

"I don't know why you insist on following it," she told him as he fell into step beside her, "It's all a bunch of fairy tales, Legends and myths,"

"You know that's not true," Loren told her. Helix stopped, glaring at him as he cut in front of her, "The proof is all around you - I don't understand why you refuse to see it."

"Let's not get into an argument over this," she told him, stepping around him and pushing aside what looked like a leafy canopy and ducking beneath it. Loren sighed heavily, following her inside.

Their brother, Azros, was seated at the small table, his grey eyes staring vacantly into space as the light on his forehead band blinked rapidly. Helix dumped her bow and quiver on the table loudly, and his eyes swivelled to see her. He grinned brightly, reaching up behind his ear and detaching a small cable from the cyborg implant. He wasn't truly their brother, but they had been raised by the same man and considered Azros as close as any blood.

"Progress?" He asked, spotting the bow. Loren ignored him, moving past into the rear of the cave that served as their home.

Helix grinned. "Like never before. Four out of five in the inner circle, one in the core ring.

"That's great to hear!" Azros grinned, stowing the cable in his pocket, "Keslin went out, so I was downloading more information about starfighters. D'you know the Empire banned the manufacture of the Delta 7B Aethersprite Interceptor after it came into power? It was called the Jedi starfighter because mostly Jedi used it during the Clone Wars,"

"That's cool " Helix told him, shrugging off her jacket and draping it over a chair, "Where's Keslin?"

"We saw a cruiser land; he went out to scout,"

"That's supposed to be my job!"

Azros shrugged. "You weren't around, and he didn't want to wait. He won't be long,"

"That's not what I'm annoyed at," Helix slumped in a chair, spotting a small data pod, "What's that for?"

"No idea, just found it, " he shrugged, "It's a bunch of architecture designs for what looks like a space station."

"Can I see?"

"Projection lens isn't working," Azros replied, "I told him weeks ago it was faltering."

"The projection lens isn't necessary," Loren told him irritably, "We needed that deal so we could fix the generator, unless you want to live in darkness,"

"We've done it before," Helix told him, turning her head. Loren folded his arms in a defensive stance. "Just leave him alone."

"He's left me alone since I was six," Azros muttered, and Helix rounded on him, raising a hand.

"Don't you start, either!" she shook her head sitting down again, "Can't you two give it a rest? At least _act_ like adults,"

Loren muttered something.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing," he replied, turning away from his younger sister. Helix knew he hated when she told him off, but he needed to accept that this was how things would be. To see him single out Azros for his implant hurt her. She knew he was angry about what had happened but it was in the past and nothing could be done, now.

Helix liked the implant. They couldn't afford the correct casing so it was mostly exposed wires and data chips built into the metal joiner, resting just abive his right ear. A thin metal band stretched halfway across his forehead with an indicator light that glowed blue and two small lenses, one of which could be flipped down to cover his right eye and enhance vision.

He could have had a C-48 fitted, but the only time they ever discussed it, Keslin had said that it was decided he'd be better off with the C-72. It was larger and had more parts that were difficult to replace, but Azros had proven each of the additional features useful to them. From his left, however, the implant wasn't visible and he looked like a normal human male. His hair was jet black, shaved short around the implant but grown out everywhere else. He had a habit of running his fingers through it, pushing it back, and it seemed to be perpetually swept upwards. His eyes had once been a dark brown, but they had gradually turned grey due to the circuitry inside his brain. His skin, once a darker tan colour, had also been turned pale. He rarely went outside anyway, venturing only as far as the lake whenever he did leave.

Helix liked it. He had projected images of other people with implants, and she had decided that of them all, Azros had retained the most human appearance - many of them had shaved their heads or gotten band implants, which wrapped around the head. In comparison, his was smaller and more... She had never been able to find the right would to describe it.

"I suppose if there's traders, dinner will be whatever they cook up," Helix remarked. Off-workders always had the better food, and Azros spent most of his spare time fixing up small pieces of machinery that they could trade for other things. They never starved - between Keslin's adeot handling of a blast, Helix's skill wih a knife, spear, and bow, and Loren's knowledge of edible flora, they always had plenty of meat and berries. Sometimes, however, it would feel to Helix like her stomach was clenching painfully.

"There was that little fur-runner that needed skinning," Azros told her, "And I think he brought back one of those huge birds; it might be hanging out the back,"

"I'll go skin it, then," Helix said, grabbing her larger knife. Loren didn't have the stomach to kill, had always been the one who scavenged parts for Azros and foraged berries and fruits. He also spent most of his time hiding further up the side of one of the nearby mountains, "practicing".

Helix tried not to think about what he was practicing up there, but he tried to talk to her about it regularly.

She heard muffled footsteps, trying to match her own, an she skipped a step, changing her walking rhythm. Sure enough, she was being followed.

" Loren, I know you're there,"

He grinned as he jogged to catch up with her. "See? You still use it."

Helix rolled her eyes. "No, I _heard_ other footsteps following and knew that Azros wouldn't sneak along behind me like you do,"

Loren's smile disappeared, and he sighed, digging his hands into his pockets. "I don't sneak," he muttered bitterly, "I _track_ ,"

"No, what _I_ do is tracking. You sneak,"

He shook his head, "Let's not argue over this."

"Fine by me,"

Helix paused at a large stake in the ground, grabbing the dead body of a small fox-like creature and slinging it over her shoulder. Keslin had killed it that morning, but apparently hadn't had the time to skin and carve it.

The track to the side of the lake was only short, and she settled on a rock, her feet in the water. She was wearing old clothes already, so she wasn't too fussed about getting herself dirty.

"I will never understand how you can do that," Loren remarked, standing a few metres back as she slit the skin down the creature's back, "Don't you ever think of the life it used to have?"

"Yes," Helix replied, "But then I remember that when I die, my bones will become dust and my body will feed new life, and so I make sure my hunted never suffers too long,"

"Even a second of suffering is too much," he argued, "It never did anything to you,"

"Neither did the plants but you insist on ripping away the fruits of their labour and devouring those," Helix pointed out.

"Plants are different; they have no emotions,"

"Says who? Those flowers in our old garden always turned to face the sun, do you really think they had no feelings? They felt the sun,"

"But I didn't eat those,"

Helix rolled her eyes, glancing back at him as she peeled the skin away. "You don't eat the meat and we have never forced you to. We accept that you don't eat meat, why can't you accept that we do?"

"It's murder,"

"It's survival!"

Helix hated when he began ranting at her about the lives' of creatures. She didn't _enjoy_ killing, but she knew that it was necessary for her to do it, in order to stay alive. At least she did her own hunting and killing, and made it as quick and painless for her hunted as possible. She had seen traders stand over a wounded animal, shocking it with energy beams before finally killing it - _that_ was something she wouldn't tolerate. The only time she had really interacted with traders herself had been when they'd done that - she had attacked them in her rage, full of empathy for the poor creature.

Keslin had forced her to peel tubers for a week.

"Have you thought about my offer?" Loren asked, breaking the silence and interrupting Helix's thoughts. She glanced back at him.

"I almost did, once. Don't you remember?"

"Keslin was beside himself with anger and worry. How could I forget?"

Helix pulled out the useless inner organs of the creature, letting them fall into the lake waters. "I changed my mind, though,"

"You never told me why,"

Helix hesitated, remembering the event. The girl's face, no older than herself, the brilliance of the man's red lightsaber as he turned it upon her, the way the girl had collapsed to the ground, dead in a second from a single touch.

Helix shivered, bringing herself back to the here-and-now, to feel a familiar pressure on her mind b

"Get _out of my head_!" she screamed, throwing the carcass at Loren. He flinched away from it at the same time she threw her wall up, and he was knocked off-balance, slipping in the muddy bank and falling on his rump.

"Helix! Dont-"

It was too late to entreat to her. She had already turned, shedding her bloodstained jacket and diving into the waters of the lake. She could have run for the shore but Loren had the longer legs, could have easily caught up with her and tried to make her forget everything.

Helix dived under the water, holding her breath and swimming towards the safest place she knew, leaving her brother on the shore, unable to sense anything more from her but her fear.


	2. Fatality

Helix did not surface until she was certain Loren would not be able to see her, and even then she held off as long as her lungs would allow. The water was cold, and she forced herself to keep moving all her limbs and fingers and toes, keep the blood circulating to them.

When she finally broke the surface, it had darkened visibly and she was closer to her target than she had anticipated. Certain that Loren would not be able to see or follow, she began stroking towards the rocky shore.

The night air was icy on her wet skin, and she had very little flesh on her bones that the cold chilled her right to her core. Hugging herself, Helix climbed the rocky slope, nimble feet finding holds where a larger body might have slipped. She knew the ruins well enough during daylight, but had never visited at night,especially not in full dark. There seemed to be more hulking shadows of the ruins, larger than anything she had been accustomed to. That it was a moonless night so far did not comfort her in the least.

She should have known better. Loren was always trying to hone his Force skills on her mind, especially when he thought she least expected it. A part of her was angry for not sending it sooner, but she knew most of the blame lay with her brother. _Why_ did he insist on keeping at it?

She had asked him. She had told him. She had even been reduced, during a particularly intense session, to begging him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She had built the Wall, a solid, impenetrable barrier that protected her mentally, and she had learned to grow so it protected her physically as well when she focused properly, nothing, physical nor spiritual, could penetrate her Wall.

It was the only thing that made her feel truly safe.

Hugging herself, Helix sat down in the middle of a pile of rubble and pushed her Wall up to completely surround her. If she worked hard enough at it, maybe it could even make her invisible to the naked eye. Or divert attention from her. Maybe it could help her find a way to help Loren.

She didn't want to admit it aloud but the path he was going down frightened her. So long as she and Keslin were always there to stop him when he became too much, he would be fine, but she has a feeling that there would come a time when neither herself nor Keslin would be there to help him. She didn't want to fail her brother.

Helix spun her head so fast her neck cricked, and she gasped, digging her fingers into the point of the pain as she looked in the direction of the sound. A slithering sort of sound on grass, almost silent but audible in this environment, where no animals came to make noise. She strengthened her Wall, rising to her feet and peering into the darkness. She fought the human urge to call out, to reveal herself; there was no indication that whatever it was had seen her, and if she stayed still it may not see her at all.

She sensed danger. She knew this feeling, knew it better than any other because it was the feeling she used to hunt, except she was usualkytp the predator. Now, alone in the darkness and without weapons, she felt more like prey, hunted by an unseen predator.

It's skin was a ghostly blue, paler than a holo, and it stood taller than any man she had ever met. Tight-fitting clothing covered all but the face, a high collar even hiding the neck. It seemed to emanate a soft glow as it moved through the darkness, almost gliding towards her.

It spoke in a soft, musical tongue, and Helix felt a slight drowsiness fall over her. She shook her head, clearing her mind forcefully, and projected her Wall out.

"Who are you?" she demanded, as the creature glided closer, "Stop right there!"

It stopped, tilting its head at her much like a curious child. "You are alone here," it said in the same sing-song voice, "Why does the small human girl walk alone in the darkness?"

It took her a moment to realise she was the "small human girl" the creature was referring to. "I'm in a bad mood and I'm very dangerous, so I'd advise you keep your distance,"

Silently, she pleaded for the being to take the advice and leave. Instead, it covered its heart with a silvery-blue hand.

"I am Sa-teer Evanven, from a distant world. We travel through here in peace,"

"Then keep the peace and be on your way," Helix told Evanven, "There's a landing area over there. You won't find much else in the way of accommodation here. The castle has been ruins for over a year now."

"It would be rude of us to travel through without acknowledging the local life," Evanven told her, "You are so small; please, join us for a meal,"

Helix sensed something wrong about the offer, but she wanted to accept - this was the first off-worlder she had interacted with, and he (or was it a she?) seemed to be genuine. _Seemed_ , Helix told herself.

"I've already eaten," she lied, "So I'm afraid I'll have to decline," she hesitated, feeling like all her etiquette learning with Keslin had deserted her, "I'm Helix Reyne, though. A resident of these parts, and not much more,"

"Oh, you seem like _very_ much more than you appear to be, Miss Helix," Evanven's gaze had turned from curiosity to something she had never seen before. Uncertain, she stepped back.

"I'd best be going," she told him-her-it, "My older brothers are waiting,"

"I'd like for you to stay,"

Helix tried not to yelp in surprise as a hand closed around her upper arm, a second stranger smiling at her widely with his teeth. She tried to wrench her arm free, and he only smiled more.

"Please, do as my second advises and join us," Evanven told her, and she saw his hand drop to rest on what was unmistakeably a blaster, hanging at his hip, "Non-cooperation can be so... _messy_ ,"

Helix knew enough about adaptive evolution to realise that their pointed teeth indicated they were carnivorous. Whether that included her or not, however, she wasn't sure. Reluctantly, she allowed herself to be led towards one of the larger shadows, recognising it as a ship as she drew closer.

The strangers spoke to each other in their musical voices, but there was an undercurrent to the tone that Helix recognised - they were arguing. Evanven shook his head when the creature holding her said something sharply, then looked at Helix, purple orbs sweeping up and down her figure.

"She is far too small to be sold," he remarked, "To fatten her would cost more than any wokd be willing to pay. The First Order will pay handsomely, however,"

Helix felt a chill run down her spine. The First Order? Why would they pay for _her_? She was nothing special, knew nothing of importance. She was too old to be conditioned into the mould for a stormtrooper, and human - they only used non-humans in their labour camps, didn't they?

The Force.

Helix remembered Keslin telling her of how the First Order sought to round up as many Force-sensitive and Force-adepts as possible, in their desire to outnumber the steadily growing New Jedi Order. She was too old to begin any formal training, surely? Or did they simply seek to eliminate as many potential enemies as possible?

The sound of a blaster rang out through the night, and the male holding Helix's arm shrieked, staggering back and releasing Helix.

"Helix! _Drop_!"

Helix did as she was told, dropping to the ground like a dead weight as the blaster fired again. A bolt ripped by, bare centimetres above her head. Evanven cried out in an ear-splitting shriek, staggering backwards.

"To me!"

Helix didn't need urging, barely even sparing a glance back as she sprang forward, keeping low as she ran towards Keslin. He was barely visible in the darkness, his skin the colour of night, but she could see his white shirt and dark grey fur vest, could see the barrel of the blaster he aimed at the two assailants.

"Get behind the tree cover, Loren will take you from there," he told her as she reached him. Return fire had begun, more silver-white figures appearing from inside the ship, and Helix could see Evanven staggering back to join them.

"I want to help!"

"Go, 'lix!"

Helix saw her brother among the trees, Azros just behind him, and started for them as Keslin began to back after her, still firing at the strangers. Loren caught Helix's arm as she ran, spinning her around into a tight embrace. She felt the blaster in his hand and stared at him. Loren had always refused to carry a blaster, _always._

Azros grabbed her arm, grinning his excitement as he pulled her further back, past the treeline. Helix tried to pull her arm free of his grip, looking back at Keslin, who was still out in the open.

One bolt, then two struck him in the torso, and for a moment to Helix, it seemed as if the world slowed. Keslin twisted on his feet from the Force of the impact, falling back, and distance seemed no matter for her, because she saw the pain in his face, written all over. There was a high-pitched sound, continuous and unbroken, and it seemed to go on forever as Keslin fell to the ground.

There was a blaster in her hand, and she was back in the open, suddenly aware she was screaming. She lifted the blaster, firing once, twice, as many times as her fingers would allow. She struck one of the beings, then a second. They probably weren't killing shots but she didn't care. She would lay waste to them all if she could.

Keslin was gasping for breath, and Helix could hear it above the shouts of the strangers, the sounds of their blasters. Someone was shouting at her close behind. Azros. Azros was behind her, shouting at her, and as she dropped to one knee beside Keslin, he reached her, dropping to his knees.

"Check him!" she told him, loosing another round. Keslin's blaster lay where it had landed, right beside him, and Helix snatched it up, firing with both blasters. She struck a third stranger, who fell, shrieking.

Someone grabbed weakly at her hand, grabbing for the blaster, and Helix glanced down before relinquishing it to Keslin. Of he could fight, that was a good sign, surely?

She was so focused on the strangers that she didn't know what was happening until she heard Azros's startled gasp. She glanced back, and for the second time in what seemed like an instant, time froze.

Keslin had raised the blaster, had pressed the tip of the barrel against the largest part of Azros' implant, the power cells. Helix screamed as she saw his finger tighten on the trigger, a look of stony resolution on his face as the bolt shot from the gun.

Azros slumped to the ground first, then Keslin. Helix reached out to Azros, wishing time would start again, or that she was in a dream, that bybtouching Azros she would wake up and everything would go away. She prayed-

She was yanked to her feet, dragged backwards. The blaster was wrenched from her hand as a pair of arms encircled her torso, pulling her backwards. She struggled ferociously, kicking and clawing, raking her nails down the length of her attacker's arm, and saw a silver-white translucent liquid begin to spill from the tears she had ripped in the skin. Blood. Their blood wasn't even normal.

Time restarted, and Helix realised she was screaming, fighting against her captors as they dragged her back towards the ship. She could see Keslin, a dark shadow slumped on the ground, Azros, his pale skin in stark contrast beside Keslin, also on the ground. Loren stood over them, legs spread, blaster gripped with both hands as he fired at the remaining attackers, his face twisted into a terrifying mask of hatred and anger and pain.

A sharp pain cut across the back of her head, and Helix knew no more.


	3. Friends

**A/N:** _Bit of a slow start, I guess, but this is picking up. Guest, cliffhangers are my specialty. I'll probably go back over the last two chapters and fix up all the errors. Android autocorrect is just as bad as Apple, seriously. JUST LET ME WRITE MY DAMN STORY._

 _ **Enjoy!**_

* * *

He had only felt this helpless once before.

Loren clutched at Azros' body, clinging to it. He knew Keslin was dead, no chance of revival, but Azros... _Why_ had he always stayed so distant? Helix could have fixed it, he knew that. But he was way out of his depth, had no idea.

Breathing shakily, Loren rolled Azros onto his back. The blue LED on his head band had turned red, was flashing an urgent message at him. _Hurry, hurry, hurry,_ it said. Or so he guessed; it flashed a Morse sequence, and he had never bothered to learn Morse, it being such an ancient form of communication. He had never bothered to learn much about technology, really, he had always been more fascinated in learning about the Force.

The Force wouldn't show him how to fix the implant, though, nor would it bring Helix back. He couldn't even use it properly, how could he hope to chase his sister across the stars to rescue her? Rescuing was best left to the heroes. Whether there were any left or not, he wasn't sure.

He hoped there was.

* * *

Helix woke slowly, groggily. The back of her head was sore, aching as though she'd struck it on a tree. It took her a moment of blinking at the harsh lighting above her to remember where she was, and she tried to sit up suddenly, reeling, retching.

The bile spattered into the bottom of a waste bucket beside her, and Helix clutched at the edge of the padded cell that formed her bed. She hadnt eaten dinner, her stomach had been emoty so there had been nothing but bile to force its way up her throat.

A cool hand pressed against her forehead and someone helped her to lay back down. She caught a glimpse of dark skin, and for a brief moment she thought it was Keslin, looking after her as he had always done, ever since her parents had been killed.

"You shouldn't have sat up so quick," no, that wasn't Keslin; that was the voice of a younger man, perhaps around her own age. Helix forced her eyes open, blinking away the blurriness, and found herself staring into the face of a young man. He looked nervous, and kept a hand on her shoulder as he spoke very quickly. "You're on a small Tammuz-an cruiser. I don't know exactly where we are, they won't say,"

Helix regarded him uncertainly. The similarities between this new stranger and Keslin ended at the skin and the face - the way he spoke was twice the speed Keslin would speak to her in, and as he spoke his eyes darted around, searching, seeking, scanning.

Helix tried to sit up again, and he helped her, offering her a water container. She drank gratefully, wiping her mouth as she handed it back to him.

"I'm Finn," he told her, placing the water container beside the bed, "You've been captured by a group of pirates who also happen to be slave traders. They were pretty upset that you fought back," he told her.

Helix peered around the small area, noticing that there was an electronic bracelet wrapped around her new friend's wrist. Tiny LED lights danced along it, and she could hear it humming very softly.

"You are well,"

Finn spun around, giving ahelix a clear view of the blue-skinned humanoid that stood before them. It wasn't the one she had spoken to, Evanven, but it looked similar. Helix swallowed nervously, her stomach clenching in fear as the being gestured.

"C'mon," Finn told her, offering his hand. Helix took it, swaying unsteadily on her feet as she stood up. Her legs shook and threatened to give way, but she managed to force herself to follow Finn, the captor behind her with its blaster. Finn led her into what appeared to be a holding bay of a cargo ship. Creatures, both human and non-human, sat on benches that ran the length of the area, electronic bracelets fixed to some sort of restraining mechanism.

Finn led her to where two empty seats stood, and the captor pushed her into the seat, grabbing first one arm, then the other, and fixing the same electronic bracelet to both of her wrists. He pressed the bracelets into the restraint mechanism, and they bleeped, the tiny lights beginning to flash. She gasped as it gave her a small shock, and the captor seemed to grin.

"For your friend's actions," he said in his soft voice. Helix scowled at the bracelets, now pinning her arms to the arms of her seat.

"They'll set them to zap you every now and then," Finn told her softly, "Apparently, it encourages submissive behaviour,"

"I'm willing to bet there's been instances where it's done the opposite," Helix said softly, watching the... What had Finn called it?

"I didn't catch your name," Finn told her.

"Helix. Helix Reyne,"

"I'd shake your hand but," he nodded at their bracelets, now effectively turned into cuffs, "Don't worry, Helix. I've got friends who are on their way. We won't get sold,"

Helix whipped her head around, staring at Finn. "Slavers?"

He nodded slowly, "Highly illegal, too. There's only a few planets in the Outer Rim that still thrive on the slave trade. Tatooine, Kessel, Excarga - that's probably where we're headed,"

Helix frowned. "I was told slavery was common, that the New Republic had as much control over it as they did the First Order,"

Finn stared at her. "One of the last acts of the New Republic was to introduce anti-slavery laws and laws to enforce them,"

"What do you mean, "last act"? The New Republic still functions, doesn't it?"

Finn stared at her, as if he'd only just seen her for the first time.

"The New Republic was wiped out by the First Order, nearly two years ago,"

Helix stared at him, suddenly aware of a sort of soft buzzing noise in the back of her mind. She dropped her gaze, staring at the floor in front of her. But...but... Keslin had only told her just the other day that there was an argument between the senators of two different systems. Keslin would never have lied to her, not like that.

"You didn't know?" Finn asked her, "Where have you been getting your information from?"

"My guardian, Keslin," Helix replied slowly, numbly.

"Sounds like a really trustworthy source, if you ask me,"

"He's dead,"

And there it was. Uttering those two words made it clear to Helix what had happened back home, back on... But she didn't even know the name of that place, her old home. Keslin had never told them. For their safety, he would always say. He had given upa life of quiet comforts just to keep them safe. First from the remnants of the Empire and then from the First Order, who had taken his only son.

And now he was dead. Helix squeezed her eyes shut, determined that this was some sort of dream and she would wake up soon. Maybe Loren, instead of taking thoughts, had learned to place thoughts in her head, was testing a new ability. !maybe she was still in the forest, still practising her shooting.

A sharo shock from the bracelet told her that she wasn't asleep, that this was very real. She opened her eyes, willing the tears to stay back. She could _not_ cry, not here, not in front of the enemy. Crying was a sign of weakness. _Show no weakness_ , that was the first rule of hunting.

And Azros...

She recalled it, Keslin in his final moments, blasting Azros' power cells, killing Azros, the boy he had slowly begun to consider his trueborn son. _Of I die, you die with me_.

"You okay?" Finn's fingers brushed against hers, straining against the restraints, and she looked up at him. Why did he look so blurry? Hastily, she blinked back tears and cleared her throat. _Show no weakness_.

"There's gotta be a way out of here," she said, looking around the holding bay, "Some sort of control, something that, if we disable it, will disrupt the signal to the restraints."

Finn stared at her for a moment as she searched the area. "I already said, I've got friends on the way. I planted a tracking device on the ship before they got me onboard, activated it when they all went out during that blaster fight you had with them. You hurt that Evan guy, the captain, though - watch out for him,"

Helix felt a nervous lump rise in her stomach and swallowed nervously. Evanven had seemed chilling enough during her brief encounter that she had already decided not to confront him again.

"I say we wait," Finn told her, "Once they get the signal, my friends'll be along, then we can get out of here and you can go back home,"

Helix shook her head, already testing the cuffs on her wrists. She was small, and sometimes her size was an advantage. It had been when she faced down those sadistic traders, maybe it would help her now.

"" _I refuse to lay in darkness and wait for shadows to return me to light_ "," she quoted, remembering an old holo-film Azros had once shown them. Without another word, she raised her hand and showed Finn, grinning. He stared at her, then at the cuff she had somehow slipped out of.

"How did you-?"

"I'm skin and bone," she told him, working her other hand free, "These bracelets weren't designed to fit a wrist as small as mine,"

A bleeping alarm began, sounding through the entire ship as it shuddered and jolted. Finn knew that it was the ship's reaction to entering an atmosphere, but Helix had no memory of riding along when a ship entered an atmosphere. Frightened that her potential escape had been detected, she slipped her hand back into the cuffs,

"Stay together," Finn told her, "I can help you if we stay together,"

"I'm the one who can get out of the cuffs," Helix reminded him, "But I agree; we stay together,"

Finn shook his head as the rattling ceased, "Why they ever thought to try and sell a _kid_ , I'll never know,"

Helix frowned, then realised the "kid" he was referring to was herself.

"I'm twenty-one," she told him, incredulous that he hadn't been able to determine her age. He looked at her in surprise, eyes raking her up and down as he reassessed her.

"You look like a child! No older than twelve,"

"So _what_? I'm small!" she snapped, feeling her temper flare. It was the only thing that irritated her, when people assumed she was still a _child._ "Small people can do things, too, y'know!"

She hadn't realised she was shouting until one of her captors appeared in front of her, standing intimidatingly tall.

"Be silent," it snarled, before turning and walking away. Helix seethed furiously at its back, not wanting to provoke it but desperately wanting to hit something - and at that moment, her captors were as good a target as any.

"I have another friend, she gets really irritated when you point out certain things," Finn told Helix, and she looked back up at her new friend. "She's off doing training now," he said, a wistful look in his eye, "I hardly get to see her anymore,"

The way he spoke about this friend suggested he was close to her. Helix wondered if "friend" was a euphemism for "sister", and he was just trying to protect her identity - or something. Some internal sense told Helix that there was something she was missing.

One of their captors stopped in the middle of the holding bay, addressing them all as there was a sudden jolt, and the engines seemed to die down.

"You will stand, and walk in a single line and stand where directed. You will not speak unless you are spoken to, and you will not fight or attempt to resist in any way. You will stand now,"

There was a loud humming sound, then a click, and Helix felt the cuffs released from the restraints. She raised her hands, the electronic bracelets still loose around her wrists, and looked at Finn. She made to stand up at the same time he did, but the captor shoved the blaster into her chest, pushing her back into her seat.

"Not you. You stay," he said simply.


	4. Mutiny

Helix stared at her captor, then at Finn as he was ushered towards the boarding ramp, which had been lowered. _Stay with me, I can help you_ ran through her mind, and she made to stand up again. She couldn't let him be separated from her, not if he could offer help.

Besides, he was her first friend.

"What you doing?" the captor asked, shoving the barrel of the blaster against her chest, forcing her down again, "You stay,"

"You're making a terrible mistake," Helix told the male, pointing to Finn, "You shouldn't sell that one here. The First Order will pay more for him than you'd get here,"

The male tilted his head, eyeing her carefully, before calling to one of his fellows. The one that approached recognised Helix, and she realised it was the one who she had clawed the arm of, in her final, desperate attempts to escape.

The two exchanged words, and then the wounded one grabbed Helix's hair, forcing her to look up at him.

"What is this? You try to command a Tammuz-an to your bidding?"

"The dark one," Helix said, gasping at the pain in her scalp, "You could sell him to the First Order. He's a stormtrooper who defected, turned traitor. They'd pay you well for him,"

The Tammuz-an regarded her carefully, and Helix silently prayed for him to believe it. She remembered a story of a defecting stormtrooper, knew that there was a possibility that they'd buy the story - it sounded far-fetched enough yet had that element of realism that all good lies needed.

The Tammuz-an let her go and she fell back in her seat as he turned and snapped an order. Finn, almost out of sight, was dragged from the line and returned to his seat beside Helix, staring at the Tammuz-an in amazement.

"What just happened?" he asked. The male nearest to them laughed sharply.

"What happened? Your friend sold you out, traitor," it told him. Finn glanced at Helix as he continued. "Defecting stormtrooper, are you? Very good, very good. The First Order will pay well for you indeed, and for your little friend,"

"Helix, what did you tell them?" Finn asked, suddenly looking nervous.

"You said stick together," Helix reminded him, "They mentioned that I was going to the First Order earlier, so I made up a story about you being a stormtrooper who defected and the First Order would pay a high bounty for you,"

Finn stared at her. "You made that up?"

Helix nodded.

"Completely on the spot?"

"Yeah,"

Finn shook his head, looking straight ahead, "So now, we're going to the First Order,"

"I guess so,"

He hesitated, glancing at her again as their restraints locked. "Why you? Are you a traitor? Do you have a bounty on your head?"

Helix shrugged, as the wounded Tammuz-an approached them again, leering at her. Helix tried to pull away as he shoved his face close to hers.

"You will get your due," he told Helix. Finn strained against his restraints.

"Why her?" he asked the male, "She's just a kid, why's she going to the First Order?"

"Force-sensitive beings must be collected," the Tammuz-an replied, smiling wickedly and displaying his teeth. "Captain has determined she is Force-sensitive, and as one so young the bounty will be high,"

Helix swallowed nervously. "I don't use it, though. I'm no threat to the First Order,"

Finn watched as the male moved his face closer to hers again. "They take younglings like you, and turn them or kill them."

Helix had been trying to ignore the "child" remarks, but being called a youngling was far too much for her. She thrust her forehead forward, headbutting the male sharply, and he stumbled back.

"Stop calling me a damn kid!" she snapped. He grinned in response, tugging a small control from his pocket and pointing it at her.

Pain lanced out from her wrists, dancing along her arms and across her chest. Helix cried out in surprise, throwing her head back as the sharp, jolting sensation crackled beneath her skin.

Another of their guards snatched the remote from the wounded one's grasp, glaring at him. The pain stopped, and Helix opened her eyes, looking at them.

"She is not to be damaged, the Captain said!" the new arrival snapped, "Go outside, you'll be more use there."

"Looks like you've already made an enemy," Finn told her quietly, Dark eyes searching her face, "Are you okay?"

"I think so," she replied, nodding slowly. She was breathing heavily, and could feel beads of sweat on her forehead, "Is that what they do when we play up?"

"It's not pleasant," Finn told her, "It'd probably hurt you more. Flesh at least provides a bit of resistance to the current, but you're so thin..." he shook his head, "I think you're right. We should stop waiting, figure out our own way out of here."

"I think I may have found one already," Helix said softly, lowering her voice, "Are you any good at fighting?"

* * *

They waited until the others returned. Finn had been reluctant at first, calling her idea "suicidal", but she had managed to talk him around. She could be very convincing when she wanted to be, she realised.

It wasn't until they were in hyperspace that the other two guards left the holding bay, leaving one there to watch over them. Most of the captives seemed to be asleep, and through barely-open eyes Helix saw the single guard sit down and turn his attention to a small datapad.

Deero began making an awful, choking noise, drawing the guard's attention, and she starting gasping, wheezing as if something were lodged in her throat. The guard irritably slammed the datapad on a spare section of bench and started towards them. He gestured with his blaster at Deero, looking at Helix.

"What's the matter with her?"

Helix hesitated. He needed to be closer for her idea to work.

"I think she's..." Helix mumbled softly, faking a sore throat. The guard leaned in, frowning at her.

"Speak louder, child! What is the matter with her?"

"You," Helix snapped, before swinging her arm around and smashing her fist into the male's throat. It was a sharp, quick blow, strong enough to bring him to his knees. Finn grabbed him in a headlock, giving Helix the chance to collect his dropped blaster. She's been able to find a flaw in the design of the manacles and she had exploited it, unlocking Finn's wrists.

He struggled with the Tammuz-an, one hand wrapped around the male's windpipe, cutting off any sound he might make. Helix had the blaster in shaky hands, almost forgetting the next part of her own plan.

"The switches!" Finn reminded her. Helix spun, spotting the co trol box at the far end of the holding bay. Many of the others had noticed now and began to sit up in their seats, some opening their mouths to call out to her.

Helix ran the few steps to the control box, finding the button to release all of the restraints-

"Hey!"

Another two of the captors had returned, and saw Helix first. One of them raised his blaster, fired, and Helix felt the bolt singe her leg as she dived aside. She lunged for the controls, jabbing her thumb on the button, and there was a soft humming sound and then a collection of clicking as the restraints unlocked.

What she had noticed of her fellow captives was that they were all sentient, and most of them from supposedly proud races. Twi'lek, Togruta, Rodians, humans, even something that she had guessed to be a Trandoshan - all glaring at their captors as though they wanted to rip the Tammuz-an apart. When their restraints were released, they rose with the fury of a wild beast, knocking Helix aside as they moved as one to fight back, attacking their captors.

Finn was beside her in an instant and he pulled her to her feet. "Come on!" he shouted above the noise, pulling her towards the door leading to the rest of the ship. They managed to push past the others, stumbling into a narrow passageway, and another Tammuz-an stepped in front of them. Finn had taken a blaster from somewhere - she didn't want to think where - and raised it, firing once. The man flew backwards, crumpling in on himself, until he hit a closed door and slumped to the ground. They ran forwards, pressing the access panel for the door and stepping over the body to enter the next section.

Three more Tammuz-an faced them, having been seated at a table moments before. Helix felt her breath catch inbher throat as one of them lifted his blaster-

Finn shot the first two with ease, but a fourth had crept up behind him and grabbed him, preventing him from shooting any more. Helix dodged a swing from the third, pivoting and swinging a leg out in a sharp back kick. It connected with the Tammuz-an's knee, and she heard a sharp crunch as he stumbled and screamed.

"Go! I'll hold 'em!" Finn told her. Helix scrambled towards the next doorway, slamming her hand on the panel once she was through and closing the door.

This part of the ship seemed quiet, but there could be more of them hiding, she told herself. She heard the sound of the blaster again, firing once, and glanced back at the door, filled with doubt. This was an insane idea, and to think they'd already gotten this far... Luck had to run out sometime, surely.

The cockpit was through another door, and the pilot and co-pilot were so absorbed in whatever they were doing that they didn't seem to notice Helix. She stared, moving slowly into the space, at the bluish light that seemed to be surrounding the ship, rushing past at a phenomenal speed. She had never seen anything like-

"Hey!"

Helix snatched up a blaster she had seen laying against the wall as the co-pilot turned around and saw her. He rose out of his seat, but she cocked the gun, and he hesitated.

"We're making a detour," she told the two, who were now watching the gun warily, "You're gonna land this hunk of crap on the nearest inhabited planet, got me? _Don't_ ," she warned the pilot, who was reaching for a small blaster strapped to the side of the seat. She was impressed that her voice wasn't shaking - she was certainly terrified enough for it to be.

She didn't mean to shoot. She tried to gesture for them to get working on the panel in front of them, but the blaster seemed to have a mind of its own. A laser bolt flew forward, into the pilot's seat, piercing the leathery fabric it was made of. The pilot and co-pilot jumped, startled, and scrambled for the controls.

Helix slammed her hand against the access panel, closing the door behind her as the bluish light disappeared from the viewport. Hyperspace, that was where they had been. She had never seen it before - if she wasn't so terrified, she would have admired the view, but she had other things to think about.

They descended towards the planet below, a brownish world that appeared unremarkable in every way. The two pilots said something to each other in their own language, nervous tones expressing their fear better than any words in Basic. Helix moved towards them, still holding the blaster, and watched as their hands danced over the had always been the one who liked piloting, she had never considered the need to learn.

 _Azros..._

She forced herself not to think of it, of anything that had already happened. To think of it was to let it stop her, and she couldn't stop, not now. She would think about it later.

So distracted was she, she didn't notice the co-pilot reaching for something beneath his seat. The small blaster fired, but Helix had already instinctively dived aside and the bolt slammed into the wall. Without thinking, she retaliated, firing at the co-pilot, and the bolt struck him in the head, throwing him backwards against the panel. The pilot was lunging for his own blaster, but Helix swung hers around faster and he, too, fell back against the instrument panel.

Throwing the blaster aside, Helix reassessed the situation. She had never piloted anything before, but with both the pilot and co-pilot dead, she would have to learn - fast.


	5. Seeing

Her hands were shaking.

Helix took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, and scanned the now-clear instrument panel. The two pilots had been heavier than she'd exoected, and it had taken her too long to move their bodies to the rear of the cockpit. She had never piloted anything, never even listened when Azros had gone off on his ramblings about starships and piloting. She wished he was here now.

But he wasn't. He wasn't anywhere, he was dead.

She forced it to the back of her mind. She wanted to curl up in the corner and let Keslin take over, Keslin or Loren. They had always been the ones that had taken charge when a crisis happened, and she had always been told to hide, or run, or get Azros and their things packed. She had never been left in charge of a situation, especially not one like this.

Helix found what looked like a comms unit and picked up the mouthpiece, pressing the button on the side.

"Is anyone out there?" she asked into silence, "We need immediate assistance." She noticed a small panel bolted onto the edge of the console, "This is the _Jevetta_ , seeking immediate assistance, is anyone out there?"

Silence. Helix released a shaky breath, tears stinging her eyes. No, she couldn't cry now, had to be strong.

" _Jevetta, I have you in my scopes. What's the emergency?_ "

It was a male voice, definitely human, and Helix almost cried out in relief. Finally, something was going right - well, to a degree.

"Hello," she heard herself say numbly, and mentally slapped herself. It wasn't like it was the first human voice she'd ever heard - why was she reacting like it was. Even she could hear the amazement in her voice.

He didn't seem too bothered by it, her new friend. " _Hello,_ " he replied, and she could hear that he was almost chuckling.

"Uh, our pilot and co-pilot are dead," she told him, "Long story. Um, but we need to land, and we have some injured... beings, on board," what did you call other sentient species? Everything had flown from her mind, and her voice was finally beginning to shake with nervousness.

" _Do you think you can pilot the ship?_ " her new best friend asked, " _I can talk you through it. If my signal's right, you're a Tammuz-an slave ship, is that right?_ "

Helix almost forgot to press the transmit button. "How did you know?"

" _You've got a friend of ours on board,_ " he replied, and she could hear him smiling, " _I've been tracking you since Takodana. Think you can land?_ "

"I've never flown anything before," Helix admitted, settling into the seat, "But I can try,"

" _Atta girl!_ " he cried. It was a phrase Helix had never heard before, but the tone when he said it suggested it was a good thing. " _I'll follow you in. I'll be right behind you, don't worry about a thing, you'll be fine,_ "

"If you say so," Helix muttered, settling into the pilot's seat, "What do I do?"

* * *

Finn was standing guard over the last remaining crew member when Helix found him.

"It's more for his protection than anything else," he admitted, gesturing to the two beings Helix had guessed to be Trandoshan, who were glaring at the Tammuz-an as though their sight could kill.

"To be honest, I didn't expect any of them to be left alive," she admitted, "How'd he survive?"

"I intervened," Finn shrugged, "I had something, this small case. It was bright yellow, you can't miss it, and they took it off me. I need it back,"

Helix shrugged. She had done a quick search of the cockpit for anything useful (aside from the blaster), but had found nothing of interest or scavenging worth except a few data pods.

"I want to go out there, but I don't trust this lot to leave him alone," Finn admitted, gesturing to the maybe-Trandoshans. Everyone else had left the ship, descending the boarding ramp to the planet Helix's pilot friend had called Excarga. She, Finn, their ex-captor and the two still watching carefully were the only ones remaining.

"I could watch over him," she offered, indicating the blaster.

"That thing's almost bigger than you,"

"Good reason not to mess with me, then," she couldn't help herself, flashing a grin. It felt like a while since she'd honestly smiled, and the muscles in her cheeks felt strange as they pulled upwards.

Finn grinned back at her, before patting her - too gently - on the shoulder and turning for the ramp. Helix turned to the maybe-Trandoshans, hefting the blaster into a more comfortable position.

"Aren't you two gonna go out there? Med crews are looking over all the others,"

They glared at the Tammuz-an, then at her. She cocked the gun again and smiled sweetly. "I _really_ think you should go. For your own health,"

The two glared at her, then muttered something and scurried towards the exit. Helix looked down, recognising the male as the one that had crept up behind her first, back home. His shoulder had been heavily bandaged, his hands restrained behind his back. She crouched down in front of him.

"Your friend is alive," he said, before she could say anything. Helix stared, and he lowered his gaze, "The cyborg one. The man who tried to save you destroyed the power cells but he was still alive according to our scanners. We almost went back for him."

"Without the power cells, he would have died," Helix said aloud. She didn't want any false hope this creature might offer. He simply laughed, his body shaking violently.

Suddenly, Helix felt something rising within her, something cold and dark, and all-consuming. It wasn't fear, though; fear, she knew. She had made fear her defence a long time ago, using it as the building blocks for her Wall. Fear was her ally. But this new thing, this cold, dark... Darkness, within her...

"Why are you telling me?" she snapped, the darkness rising within her, making her angry. Anger was bad, she had to try and get herself under control.

"I was what you might call a Soothsayer," he told her, "I See things, and I See _you_ , what you will be forced to do. A decision lays before you, Helix,"

Helix hefted the blaster onto her hip, where it sat more comfortably, and pointed it at the Tammuz-an. "How do you know my name?"

"I See," he told her, fixing her with an intense glare, "Poor Helix Kaid, tortured to death, forced to sacrifice all for the Light or forsake everything for the Dark. A terrible decision, with fatal consequences. Loyalty will be your death,"

"Stop it!" Helix shouted, the blaster dropping to the ground. She had raised a hand, and the Tammuz-an cried out painfully, twisting in his position. Helix's heart was racing, her mind roiling. She didn't want to hear any prophecies, she wanted to go home! She wanted Keslin back! She wanted Loren to stop with his Force campaign, wanted to be able to talk to traders, to have her old freedom and her family back!

She wanted to know what the Seer knew.

A flood of images flashed before Helix's eyes. Different worlds, places, faces, creatures. She was running through the forest back home, running from something, or was she running _toward_ something? She had been here before, she realised, stopping in the dream, and looked around. He was there, red lightsaber held beside his victim's throat. Except it was different, it wasn't the girl, frozen in place and unable to move. It was Loren.

She wanted to cry out, knew what was coming next, wanted to scream. Loren was all she had left, he couldn't-

The shadow figure waved a hand, and Loren crumpled to the ground, dead, dead like the girl. She wanted to scream. Fight, cry out, but she knew she couldn't because then he would see, and he would kill her, too.

Then he was turning, facing her. A horrific metal mask, different to the one of her nightmares, stared back at her, and Helix tried to move but it was her turn to be trapped now as the shadow reached up, grabbing the mask, pulling it away-

Helix knew her own face, but this one was different. Pieces of metal had punctured it, black rings in her lower lip and a tiny Dark purple crystal in her nose, two small, curved metal bars through one of her eyebrows. And those eyes, those eyes so deep and dark and full of hate, and... and a bloody tear running down her cheek. Helix knew her own face, but this was not her, not Helix Reyne. This was a monster, evil and cruel and cold and murderous and Helix felt her heart racing as the other woman, taller than her, raised the red blade and swung-

Helix screamed, stumbling backwards, tripping over something, landing on her back. She was on the ship, the forest gone, the woman, that awful, frightening figure-

Heavy footsteps clanged up the ramp and Helix sat up on her elbows as Finn returned, another human male behind him. He saw Helix on the ground and rushed to her side, dropping to his knees.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Helix looked over at the Tammuz-an, and her hand flew to her mouth. Where his eyes had been were now empty sockets, silver blood flowing from them and from his open mouth. His chest seemed to have collapsed in on itself, and staring at it, Helix felt bile rise in her throat. There was nothing in her stomach, though, so she knew she wasn't in danger of such a reaction.

"Did you-?" Finn asked, staring at the Tammuz-an in horror.

"She couldn't have, Finn, she's just a kid,"

"Someone had to!"

Helix felt her lips moving numbly. "The Force," she said, "Someone did this without - without touching him. They used the Force,"

"Who could do something like that?" the other male asked, shaking his head. A small round droid had moved to stand - balance? Sit? - beside him, and when it saw Helix it gave a gentle, reassuring beep.

Finn helped her to her feet, and she swayed unsteadily. The cloying, sweet smell of the blood was making her feel dizzy, and her body suddenly felt weak with exhaustion and something else.

Finn moved to crouch beside the Tammuz-an, touching its cheek gently. He nodded. "Definitely dead. Some sort of internal injury. I don't know a lot about their biology but he was beaten pretty bad before I rescued him."

Helix felt her legs fold underneath her, body caving in to the weakness that seemed to envelop her. She was still conscious, but she felt weak, too weak to move, and her head was spinning.

Strong arms surrounded her, lifting her up and carrying her through a doorway as more voices seemed to arrive, chattering. The arms, wrapped in an orange flight suit, deposited her gently on a bed, and she stirred, trying to force herself to sit up. A hand appeared on her shoulder, pinning her to the bed.

"I haven't seen her eat anything since she came aboard," Finn's voice said from a long way off, "They gave us a meal right before she was brought on; that was at not the last place, but the one before,"

"Takodana," the other male replied, his voice swimming above her somewhere, "That's where we lost the signal. The shuttle landed, they picked up two boys who look a bit like her - health wise, I mean. I didn't land, came straight after you guys. Lucky guess, came out of light speed almost right on top of you,"

The pilot, that voice... That was the pilot that had helped her, her new friend, the one who had guided her to landing. She tried to open her mouth to make a noise, but something was stopping her.

New voices, talking, talking. Beeping, curious, concerned, warbling, seemed to follow her, never leaving her side, and when her hand fell from the bed to hang over the side, something cold and metal pressed itself against her palm, beeping frantically.

Helix opened her eyes.


	6. Stay Together

She was in the medbay, in the bed that she had woken up on. Closing her eyes tight, she wished that perhaps by trying to stay asleep for just a moment longer, she could pretend everything was okay.

She realised she still had her palm resting on the top of something cold and metal, and peered over the side of the bed to see the spherical white and orange droid, peering back up at her. Or at least, she supposed it was peering. A single black optical sensor was pointed directly at her, and she remembered that this droid belonged to Finn's friend, the pilot. _Her_ pilot, the one that had talked her through the landing.

She made to get up, but the droid issued a string of electronic noises that sounded like chastisement.

"You want me to stay here?" she asked, then shook her head, sitting up despite its electronic objections. "I don't speak droid, I'm sorry. My brother... He's got a cybernetic implant, but I don't."

A querying beep. Helix shrugged.

"I think I know basic binary," she replied, "If you can speak that,"

A series of short and long beeps, alternating, and she smiled.

"Yeah. We used to trade with a droid that only spoke basic binary,"

More short and long beeps.

"I know, but we never encountered droids that much," she admitted, "We lived... rough. Only ever kept what was needed. Azros is part droid, I guess,"

A query. Helix felt her heart give a painful twinge. She couldn't believe what the Tammuz-an had said, couldn't let herself get her hopes up. If he had been lying...

"He's dead," she replied, "He... He was shot in the power cells. It would have shut his implant down and he can't survive without it."

"He's not dead,"

Helix snapped her head up so fast it almost cricked her neck. The pilot stood in the doorway, watching her exchange with the droid, and he was smiling slightly as he leaned on the doorframe. Helix thought he looked familiar from somewhere, but the odds that she had met him before, in person, were slim.

"He was in a coma," the pilot told her, still leaning on the doorframe, "When the crew that picked them up found out they were with Keslin Kess, they were taken straight to our base. Your friend is gonna be fine."

Helix stared at the pilot, Absorbing the good news as he straightened up and crossed the room to her. Then she let herself smile, really smile, and he grinned back at her. His grin faltered, however, and his dark eyes appeared saddened. "Your guardian, I believe. Keslin..."

"I already know," she admitted. To let him, this stranger, say it aloud... She wasn't sure she could handle that just yet.

He surprised her by pulling her into a gentle hug, and with her face buried in his chest she allowed herself a few sobs, body shaking. Then she pulled away, taking a deep breath, doing exactly what Keslin had always told her to do: Move On.

"But Azros is okay," she said firmly, "He's gonna be okay? You said he would,"

"I don't know a lot about it, but yeah," the pilot responded, releasing her and stepping back. He seemed slightly confused about something, but shook his head. "They fixed the implant, and last I heard he was waking up soon. The other boy-"

"They're not boys," Helix told him, "We're not kids,"

"You look like it,"

"I'm twenty-one," Helix said, unable to keep the slight annoyance out of her voice. He stared at her, eyes raking her figure up and down. Suddenly, Helix felt a strange desire to hide, or cover herself up. She realised that she was still in her half shirt, and felt like it was too much exposed skin.

She wrapped her arms around herself and looked away, covering her body.

"You were starving," he told her, voice soft again, "According to reports, you haven't eaten for at least two days. We got one of the med team to give you a booster but you'll still need to eat something. There's synthsust on the shuttle, though,"

"Is that why I couldn't move?" she asked, "I could hear you, talking with Finn, but I couldn't move. How long was I asleep?"

"A few hours," he smiled slightly, "Anyway, I'm Poe. Poe Dameron,"

Helix tried not to display her surprise. Keslin had told her stories of Poe Dameron, formerly of Rapier Squadron, who had defected and joined the Resistance. He was one of the best pilots in the galaxy. When she was younger, she had even been given a small still holo of him from his squadron holo, and she had kept it by her bedside when they had lived on the grass world. He was her hero - now doubly so.

Helix punched her inner child in the face in an attempt to prevent herself saying something stupid.

"Helix Reyne,"

 _Totally impressive,_ she told herself. He grinned as though he knew what she was thinking.

"So, where are you from?"

Keslin had never told them the name of their home, not even after they had left it. Helix had no idea what the name of the planet was, and seized the first thing that sounded right-ish, praying that it was right. She didn't want to look like an idiot, not in front of Poe Dameron.

"Takodana," she blurted, recalling the name from those delirious hours. He was grinning again.

"Well, we've got to keep searching the ship, so Beebeeate's gonna keep you company until we're done. Don't go wandering off,"

He shook his head as he exited the medbay, closing the door behind him. She was skeletal, which couldn't be healthy for a human. That and her physical height both made her look like a child, and a weak one at that. He had never been much for taking in strays, but there was something in him that wanted to watch over her, protect her. Maybe it had been that voice that had called out on the comms, once again making her seem almost half her true age.

There were directives regarding the Kess and Reyne families, set by General Organa herself. He wasn't entirely sure why they were in place, but if following his directive and taking her to the base meant he could make sure she was safe, he wouldn't object.

And BB-8 seemed to like her, too. BB-8 _never_ used first generation droidspeak, not even for Finn. It was longer and more tedious, BB-8 had replied when Poe had asked once. Also, even those fluent in Binary took a while to translate it, and if BB-8 were to deliver an urgent message, the droid would need to be understood immediately.

* * *

Helix tried not to be awestruck when Finn and BB-8 finally led her outside the docking bay. The shuttle that the Resistance had provided, to return many of the previous captives, was docked in a different bay, and getting there involved walking a few hundred metres through the streets of an unfamiliar space port.

Helix had never seen a city before. She had never even seen a space port, not even on any of the other planets she had lived on. To see so many _people_ , all different species and races and status - it was incredible for her. She had never seen more than twenty or thirty sentient beings together, but now it seemed like there were _hundreds_.

"Stay close," Finn told her. He had found a smaller blaster and given it to her, taking the larger one for himself. Helix didn't argue - she had decided that it _was_ too big for her. She hurried to keep up with Finn, suddenly realising just how short she was beside him - for every single step he took, she had to take two to keep up with him. The ground was so flat that she wasn't accustomed to it, and she almost stumbled, her legs remembering how to respond to dips and gullies and rises and exposed roots even though there were none here.

If she had thought the amount of people in the space port was incredible, the sight of a luxury passenger shuttle - not a trader ship, not a starfighter, but a shuttle designed for passengers, for their comfort - was utterly breathtaking.

Finn showed her how the seat restraints worked, and the chairs' apparent ability to recline into a bed of sorts. Food was passed around, something Finn called sandwiches, and the flavour burst was incredible, better than any food Keslin had ever brought back from traders. A sweet liquid was passed around, something with the same consistency as water but coloured green and far, far more interesting in taste.

"Wait 'til you have your first meal at the base," Finn told her, "Sandwiches and juice are just the beginning."

They were taking a roundabout route back, Finn told her, as they had to take the other six passengers back to their respective worlds. After that, they would return to the base itself, where Poe and one of the other pilots had promised Loren and Azros were waiting.

* * *

Azros was the first to find her when she arrived, almost running past the medical room she had been placed in. He threw himself at her, hugging her tightly, and drew back to stare at her.

"I thought we lost you!" he exclaimed, grinning in relief.

"I thought you were dead!"

"Me? Never!" He grinned, turning his head so she could see, "They didn't just fit new power cells - they gave me full upgrade, plus the casing! I can think a lot clearer now, way better processing than the last one. You have no idea, Helix," he told her, beaming, "Well, with your super senses you might. But you know what I mean,"

"Still a freak," Loren stated, leaning on the wall beside the door. Helix opened her mouth to rebuke him before she realised it was a joke - because Azros smiled.

"He tried to fix it himself," Azros explained, "He was crying when they found him,"

"I was not!" Loren snapped, approaching Helix's bed. He fixed her with his blue gaze, concern creasing his brow. "How come they're still treating you? Did those _skardegai_ hurt you?"

"That's not a very nice word to use here," Helix told him, and he scowled briefly. "They're worried that I'm " malnourished". Something about a calcium and iron deficiency. I have to stay until Dr Kalonia says,"

"That sucks," Azros grimaced, "I like Doctor Kalonia, but..."

"She's helping us," Helix told them, as Loren sat on the bed and placed his hand on hers. "Keslin..." Her throat tightened, but she forced herself to keep going, "Keslin isn't here anymore, he can't patch us up. Not this time. So someone else has to do it and we have to be patient with them, because they're not Keslin. What seems normal for them is strange to us, and vice versa. Y'know, Finn barely understood the concept of hunting when I mentioned it," she added, trying to divert their attention.

"General Organa wants us to stay,"

Helix stared at Loren, who had spoken it. While Poe Dameron had been her hero, Princess-General Leia Organa and Jedi Master Luke Skywalker had been Loren's. It was his dream to be Skywalker's apprentice, but a personal invitation to stay on the base from Organa was a close second.

Loren was almost bursting with excitement, though he wasn't showing it. Helix could sense it, though. She looked at Azros, who was wearing an unreadable expression.

"She offered to put me through the pilot academy they've started," he told her, "When I was recovering, she came to see us with Admiral Ackbar. Helix, there's so many things Keslin never told us-"

"I know," Helix replied. On the long journey back, Finn had already told her the truth about the galaxy's current status. "He was trying to protect us, stop us from going to join another war. He cared, Azros,"

"We were scouted," Loren said suddenly, "D'you know that? We were scouted by Master Luke himself. Mum refused, though, so did Toras. We could have been Jedi, Helix," he told her desperately.

"We would have been killed," she replied, "All of this information, I know, a lot of our lives to this point have been lies, but that's in the past now," she slumped back against her pillows, feeling drained, "The past is not the future. Focus on that,"

Azros and Loren seemed to exchange a glance, and Azros leaned over, grabbing her hand. "I want to join. But I don't want to do it alone,"

Helix felt touched that he would suspend his dreams, just to wait for her.

"I already joined,"

"What?" Azros yelped, turning to Loren, "I thought we were going to wait and decide together?"

"I'm not passing up another opportunity to be seen," Loren told them, shrugging, "Besides, I was going to pretend that I didn't until we agreed."

"You were going to lie?" Helix demanded, "Is that what you're trying to say? Really? After you just found out how many lies were already surrounding us?"

"Blame that on Keslin! He was a fool, a weak fool!"

"He was trying to _protect_ us!"

"You don't understand what it's been like for me!" Loren cried.

"No, _you_ don't understand!" Helix shouted back, "I don't want our world to become lie after lie, not again. I can't trust you, Loren, and you're literally all that's left of my blood! What if Azros and I wanted to go somewhere else, huh? We have to stick together, we are a _family,_ and families _wait_ for each other!"

She had really done it now, she realised as she fell back against her pillows. Her last reserves of strength appeared to have fled her body, leaving her almost as weak as she had been on the _Jevetta._

She heard the door slide open , then closed, and opened her eyes to see Azros frowning worriedly at her. She managed a thin smile.

"I'm fine," she told him, "I'll be okay,"

"I can't help but feel like he'll be the death of you," Azros told her, "You need to get some rest. I'll stay here,"

"You don't have to worry about me," she told him, as he leaned over and brushed a few strands of stray hair out of her face.

"Someone has to," he replied, "It used to be Keslin. Must be a blood trait. Sleep," he told her, more insistently. Helix nodded slowly, feeling herself drift off. For twelve hours, she was oblivious to her surroundings. It was the best sleep she'd had in eighteen years.


	7. New Futures

Helix had never actually planned to join an army, especially not one with such alarming odds against it. But Loren's decision had given her very little choice; if she didn't officially join, she suspected that she would be relocated to try and start a new life. Not alone, of course. Azros understood their need to stay together, and if it came down to it, he would go with Helix in a heartbeat.

But she knew what piloting meant to him. She watched how he interacted with Finn, when they met, and realised that the only time he had ever truly met other sentients was when they had changed homes, on the trader ships. He relied so heavily on the information about human interaction he kept stored, that Finn asked why he kept going glassy-eyed and if he was all right.

She couldn't pull him back into solitude. She couldn't deny him his dream. It wasn't her job to do such things.

So when Azros asked her again after she had woken up, she told him to go ahead. He hesitated, worrying about her, but Finn had been there and she had told him she would be fine.

"Not that," he told her, "I mean, what are you gonna do? You've never really even mentioned any future other than... Well, what we used to do. Shifting around and staying hidden."

"I followed Keslin," she replied, "With Keslin gone, I guess we have to figure things out on our own. I'll figure something out,"

"You're really optimistic, y'know," Finn told her as Azros left. "I mean, it hasn't exactly been the best of circumstances for you three, but you're not... You're powering through,"

"I'm alive, my brother's are safe," Helix shrugged, "So long as there's food on the table, a roof over our heads, and we're together and safe, everything else can be worked out. Everything'll be okay,"

Finn reached over and pinched her wrist in between two fingers, giving her a significant look. Helix had always considered their physique to be natural, like the difference in skin colour between other races of humans - perhaps she was part-something else, something that needed very little flesh and still had the muscular strength of a grown man, although perhaps not a fit one.

Since she had been on the slave ship, however, it had become more and more difficult to tell herself such things. It was clear that she was human, and none of the other humans she had met looked as thin and bony as herself. Emaciated, one of the nurses had said, skeletal.

"If you try to ensign for anything that takes you off the base, you know you won't be able to," Finn told her, "For any expedition or external positions, you have to have a certain weight ratio - which you definitely don't have,"

"I _know_ ," she said, snatching her arm away, "Please stop pointing it out,"

A frown creased his dark forehead, and she couldn't stop drawing the comparison between Finn and Keslin. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Exceedingly,"

The nurse came over to tell her she could go shortly afterwards, but told her that she had to report back every morning to get an injection, a booster jab. The nurse also gave her a room number, which she would be sharing with up to three others, and she was given a basic run-down on the rules of the base, including area restrictions and emergency procedures. Being a huge space station, there were plenty of levels that she wasn't allowed to go, but there was something called a "recreation area" and also a large dining hall.

Finn helped her find her room, and then showed her around. The "recreation area" was, in fact, an entire level of rooms full of things Helix had barely seen since she had left her first home planet of Endor. Games, holovids, large thick folders full of leaves that Finn called books, data terminals, there was even a room full of strange machines with soft padding and heavy weights, called a gymnasium. Beside that was a huge, artificial lake - Finn laughed at her name for it and called it a swimming pool. Helix marvelled at how she could see the bottom of it, and that there were steps cut into it and how clear and still the water was. It was smaller than the lake on Takodana, but it was incredible to behold.

For Helix, it was. For Finn, such things seemed ordinary.

"So you never really spoke to _anyone_ when you were moving around?" Finn asked later, as they sat in the dining hall eating something that Finn had called rava - small pouches of a starch-like substance, filled with meat and smothered in a reddish sauce. Helix loved them, but trying to use the utensils Finn had handed her was difficult - she had speared her meat and eaten it off a long knife, for as long as she could remember, and her fruits and vegetables and berries had always been eaten with fingers. Now, she was learning to use something called a fork.

"I give up!" she snapped, slamming the fork on the table and using her fingers. Finn smiled, watching her, and she scowled at him. "What?"

"You and Rey," he shook his head, "She was almost exactly the same when she came here. Amazed by almost everything. It made us realise so many things we take for granted, like interaction,"

"I was allowed to talk with traders on Takodana," Helix replied, "But I usually went hunting or practicing instead."

"If I see Rey, I'll remember to introduce you," Finn promised.

A shadow fell over their table and Helix and Finn looked up to see a young cadet standing beside their table.

"Helix Reyne?" the cadet asked, and Helix nodded slowly, suddenly aware that her fingers were covered in the rava sauce and she probably looked like an idiot. "General Organa has requested to speak with you. If you'd like to follow me,"

It was an offer, but Helix didn't understand such things. With a nervous glance at Finn, she rose from her seat, half-tempted to take the plate of rava with her. Instead, she wiped her hands on the napkin Finn had provided - another new thing - and followed the cadet.

They turned down several corridors, took an elevator up several levels, then more turns and finally into a large white room. It was circular in design, with large wide steps descending to a level pit at the bottom, where a projection was on a large screen and several figures stood before it. People were seated on the steps, almost filling the small room, and most of them seemed to be wearing orange flight suits. The meeting, however, seemed to be ending, as most of them were shifting on their seats and gathering things.

The cadet paused at the top of the steps, waiting for a signal perhaps, before he led Helix down towards the few people in the centre. She couldn't help but stare around herself at all the _people_ , so many people in one space. As she passed many, she felt their eyes staring at her, and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling self-conscious again.

"General Organa," the cadet addressed an elderly woman, who turned away from the console before her to speak to them. Her eyes fell upon Helix before the cadet had even said her name, and she smiled gently, almost motherly. She was shorter than Helix had expected, through she was still taller than Helix, and every bit as regal as Helix had envisioned. Finn had already cautioned her not to call the woman "princess", not even when addressing her by her full title.

"You must be Helix," she said, "I've already met your brothers. Have you been filled in on what's happening here?"

"I think so, ma'am," Helix replied carefully. Her heart was in her throat, pounding with nervousness, but she forced herself to stay calm. "Finn filled me in on, well, recent history on the shuttle, and Loren told me he already signed himself on,"

"Loren spoke to me personally about becoming an officer," Organa told her, "He has already been transferred to cadet quarters and will be beginning the theoretical part of his training in just a few days. And I've spoken to Azros as well, he enrolled in the flight academy this afternoon."

"We spoke about it before he did," Helix told her, "If its not too... If you don't mind, I'd like to stay close to them. Both of them. But I'm not even sure if I want to actually, officially join,"

"You don't have to officially join," Organa told her, "Help is always needed in some of the service areas, such as food service and cleaning. I would suggest an ambassadorial position, but it's quite clear that you're not accustomed to being around so many people, and such a position would require constant communication with allies, strangers, and even in some cases, enemies."

"I thought there was only one enemy?" Helix asked, before she could stop herself. Organa sighed heavily.

"We face opposition from many groups, including the First Order, but many of these groups are against us based on lies they have been told. An ambassadorial position would have the task of convincing these groups to ally themselves with us, or at least separate from an alliance with the First Order."

"I'm not a very convincing person," Helix lied, "And, like you said. People."

Her mouth quirked, and Helix tried not to imitate her.

"Truth be told, General, I'm not entirely sure what I want to do," Helix admitted, "I just want to stay close to my brothers, at least for now."

"Very well,"

Organa turned away as BB-8, the small droid from the slave ship, rolled up to her and chirped a greeting. Helix grinned, crouching down to look the droid in the eye - well, visual receptor.

"When did you get back?" she asked, grinning. The droid beeped a response, wobbling itself happily, and Helix looked up, over the top of the console to where Poe Dameron stood, changed into his officers' uniform. Suddenly shy, Helix ducked her head back down.

An inquiring series of beeps from BB-8 drew her attention back to the droid. She shook her head.

"I've never seen so many people in one place," she admitted, "We were always taught to avoid people, as kids,"

BB-8 spelled out the sequence for "trust", and Helix shrugged.

" We didn't trust outsiders," she admitted.

"Helix,"

She snapped to attention, standing up quickly to face several people across the table. General Organa stood next to her, Poe opposite her, and three others ranged around the table - a girl about her own age, Helix guessed, an older man in a plain tunic with a brown cloak, and another human male who seemed to look familiar to Helix. He peered at her, frowning slightly as she looked at General Organa.

"Commander Dameron has told us about the Tammuz-an ship, how you were alone with the pilot and co-pilot for a few moments," General Organa gestured, "They may have been carrying something on their person, which we are looking for. Did you happen to see a small yellow box, about the size of a human hand,"

"Or anything that may have seemed out of the ordinary," Poe added, his voice gentler. Helix shook her head, and Organa sighed heavily, turning back to the others.

"We have to assume-"

"I _did_ take something, though," she admitted, and everyone turned back to her, "A couple of data pods, about three all up. Azros uses them to store nonessential data, so I thought to get them for him."

"Do you still have them?" the older man asked, the one who seemed to recognise her. Helix dug into the pocket of the pants she had been given and drew the three pods out, setting them on the table.

"That's them," Organa stated, staring at the pods, then looking at Helix, "Where did you find them?"

"The co-pilot had them," she admitted, shrugging, "I didn't think they were anything special. Don't all pods look the same?"

"The yellow and red markings give it away," the officer told her, pointing to the stripes that ran around the middle of the pods, "There's a series of twelve, we're trying to find them before the First Order,"

"Major, I don't think you should be sharing this information," Organa told him sharply. The Major nodded, falling silent at the rebuke. Organa turned to Helix, "There was no other motivation for taking them? Aside from scavenging worth?"

"I saw them and thought of Azros,"

"You thought he was dead, though," Poe stated, "You believed him to have already been dead, Finn told me,"

"It was a force of habit," Helix shrugged, "I don't even remember entirely, I saw them, thought "Azros" and took them,"

She felt a very slight, familiar pressure in her head , and gasped softly, stepping back from the table. Everyone turned to stare at her, confused, but the intrusion seemed to have withdrawn.

"She's telling the truth," the other elder told them. Helix stared at him, as he continued to gaze at her with a curious expression, "Her intentions were honest."

"You were reading me?" Helix demanded, heart in mouth. The man inclined his head once.

"You _knew_?"

The girl beside him was staring at her in surprise.

"I was sensing whether you were telling the truth," the man replied, "Not as intrusive as reading,"

"Helix, this is Jedi Master Luke Skywalker," Organa told her. Helix tried not to show her fear - if Loren wasn't even trained and capable of such invasive evils, this man, a master of the Force, would be able to read her mind more effectively than him. Even now, Skywalker could be seeing inside her head, reading all her secrets, finding her weaknesses.

Her Wall snapped into place so quickly, without Helix even thinking of it. "I-I just remembered," she failed to keep a nervous quiver out of her voice, "I have to go... Booster. Have to get a booster injection. Sorry,"

Health. Health was the one thing that couldn't wait, and General Organa should know that, should understand. There was no way she would detain Helix if she needed to get an injection of some sort. Perfect excuse.

She didn't start running until she was out of the room.


	8. Fear and Bones

The room was deserted, nothing more than a shell with a viewport. Nobody else bothered to enter, and although the viewport gave a beautiful view of a nearby star cluster, nobody seemed to _want_ to enter.

That suited Helix fine.

She hugged herself, staring out the viewport. The station base was constantly moving, travelling between systems so as to avoid interception or being tracked by the First Order. If she had been here a few hours earlier, she wouldn't have seen the beautiful view now before her.

"I apologise for startling you,"

Helix felt herself tense instinctively, muscles ready to spring into action. She hadn't even heard the door open. She felt him, sensing around her as he approached, but he stayed his distance. He stopped beside her, hands clasped behind his back as he gazed out of the viewport with her.

"My brother is Force-sensitive," she told him, casting a wary glance at him, "He does that all the time, reads my mind. I've told him to stop but he doesn't listen."

"I don't encounter Force-adepts very often, and nobody has raised a complaint before. I prefer to avoid more intrusive methods, though. They can cause discomfort, even pain. But you would already know of that," he said softly.

Helix glanced at him as he closed his eyes. She could see his face was scarred, which amused her slightly - Loren believed the Jedi were invincible. Skywalker's hair was a dull grey, and his face was lined, but he didn't seem much older than General Organa, and where she seemed to exude an air of regal elegance, he seemed... just ordinary.

Helix tried to relax slightly. She unfolded her arms, but folded them again, feeling overexposed. The clothing the nurse had brought for her to wear was simple, efficient working clothes: a shirt with short sleeves, a pair of pants with many deep pockets, and a plain jacket for her to keep warm - Finn had lent her his jacket on the shuttle when she'd begun shivering.

"You have good control over your emotions," Skywalker commented, and Helix moved away from him slightly. He hadn't opened his eyes or moved in any way, but his presence made her wary. "The data storage pods you found made General Organa very relieved,"

"What are they?" Helix asked, unable to stop herself.

"Blueprints and information about some of the most dangerous weapons known to history, how to make such weapons, and the flaws that led to their destruction - specifically, how to prevent such destruction of the weapons,"

"And you don't want the First Order getting hold of them,"

"We have been searching for them for several months," he replied, "Interesting, that you should bring them here with no knowledge of their value,"

Helix returned her gaze to the star cluster, folding her arms. "I didn't really even think about it. Azros uses them."

"To my understanding, you believed him to be dead when you took them,"

Helix swallowed, trying not to let him see her shiver. She had been trying to lie, stop anyone else from finding out and thinking her strange - well, stranger than usual.

"I don't know why," she admitted, "I just... I saw them and was putting them in my pockets before I even realised what I was doing. I told myself it was a force of habit, or something like that. I thought they'd be useful, if not to me then somebody."

"You are strong with the Force," Skywalker commented, "Even without apparent training, you have learned to tune yourself to it, allow it to guide your actions and follow the direction it leads. You require more training, but for now your knowledge is adequate,"

Helix realised what he was saying and stepped back, away from him. "No!"

Skywalker turned to face her, looking slightly confused as she backed away. "Why are you afraid?"

"You're talking about training me," Helix said, scooping her jacket up as she reached the door, "I don't want to be a Jedi, want nothing to do with the Force. It's evil!"

"The Force is natural, residing in all things," Skywalker told her, taking a step towards her, "Learning to use it does not make you evil,"

"You can get inside someone's head with it!" she cried, sensing his Force slowly approaching her, "You can control someone's mind and body, tell them what to say and think and do, see their thoughts, memories, their biggest secrets, remove memories and even life! Tell me that's not evil!"

The door flew open at the same time she threw her Wall up, and she whirled around, fleeing the room and leaving Skywalker staring after her.

* * *

"There you are!"

Helix looked up in alarm and relaxed as Azros joined her table, his tray laden with food. Helix looked back at her own tray, realising she had been pushing food around for the last ten minutes. She didn't know how, but she had found her way back to the dining hall after fleeing Skywalker, and realised she hadn't finished her last meal.

"Are you okay?" Azros asked, noticing she was digging her fork through her food more than eating it, "You seem a bit distracted,"

"I met Luke Skywalker," she explained, "He tried to read my mind,"

Azros stared at her. "What did you do?"

"I did the wall trick, what else was I supposed to do?" she asked, irritated. She sighed and returned to pushing her food around, "Sorry, I just..."

"Don't apologise," Azros waved a hand. She could never get Loren to understand, but Azros did. He knew her fear, although he didn't know why it was so strong, but he acknowledged it was there.

Helix looked around the dining hall for the first time since she'd arrived, realising that there were only a few people left. "Where is everyone?"

"Captain Tanaka said there was some sort of invasion to reclaim a planet from the First Order. Most of them are getting ready for that, I guess,"

"That seems like such a huge-scale operation," Helix grimaced. Finn appeared beside their table suddenly, and slid into the seat beside Helix.

"Hey, you're eating," he noted , spotting the plate of rava. Helix grimaced.

"Sort of. I don't feel hungry,"

"Rava fills you up," he nodded, "C'mon, I can take you down to the flight deck, see the others off, but only if you finish half of what's there. You look like a wraith. You too, Azros,"

Azros and Helix looked at each other as he rose to get himself some food. "What's a wraith?" Helix asked.

"No idea. But I bet its bones are showing,"

"Why is that such a bad thing now?" Helix asked, "You've always known me like this, its never been a problem before,"

"Because I didn't know just how bad it looks beside other humans," Azros nodded at the other people in the room, "Next to all of them, we look starved. Plus, Captain Tanaka told me that I'd have to put some weight on if I wanted to pass all the fitness tests for the academy, and whatever you go into, I bet it'll be the same,"

Helix grimaced, spearing one of the rava pouches on her fork.

Finn never mentioned his rank, but it must have been high, because walking alongside him Helix and Azros were able to enter the flight deck - which, Helix already knew, was a restricted area.

The main hangar was full of activity, crews loading supplies into shuttles and pilots making last-minute checks on their starfighters. She stood with Azros and Finn to one side, watching it all.

A hand clapped down on her shoulder, and she looked up at Poe, dressed in his flight suit again and a helmet tucked under his arm.

"Feeling better?" he asked, "You seemed a bit spooked earlier,"

"Yeah," Helix nodded, managing a weak smile. Poe looked over at Azros and Finn.

"This must be your brother," he said, indicating Azros, who was watching them. Helix nodded.

"Azros Kess," she replied, "Azros, this is Poe Dameron,"

She knew Azros well enough to see the same flash of surprise in him as she had felt, meeting Poe. He seemed oblivious, however, greeting Finn warmly. He then looked at Helix and jerked his head, indicating for her to walk with him.

"We're extremely grateful that you found those pods," he told her, "The General never got to express that before you left,"

"Sorry," Helix grimaced, "I had to go,"

"Yeah, we know," he nodded, steering her around a stack of what looked like small round balls, but Helix guessed were explosives. "I noticed both of your brothers have already enrolled. Azros in the pilot academy and the other one in the cadets,"

"Loren," she told him, "He said something about comms once, I think he might be in that."

"Everyone wants to be an officer," Poe commented, stopping beside a sleek X-wing fighter, tossing his helmet into the cockpit. The fighter was painted black with red detailing, and Helix found herself unable to stop admiring it. He caught her gaze and grinned.

"Got special permission from Admiral Ackbar," he told her proudly, "It's the only one with this design in the whole fleet." He began to move around the fighter, checking it over, "Are you considering joining the academy? We could always use more good fighter pilots, and you handled that landing well no matter what Finn says,"

"I haven't really thought about it," Helix grimaced, "I know hardly anything about starships and fighters. Never piloted anything before,"

"Well, you had your first lesson," Poe grinned at her from under the wing, "How to land. I stole my mother's A-wing when I was five, went for a joyride, but had no idea how to land it and crashed into a swamp,"

Helix chuckled at the thought of a five-year-old Poe climbing out of a crashed fighter. "Did you get in a lot of trouble?"

"Loads. But she showed me how to land the next day. Been flying around ever since,"

Helix grinned, then faltered. "I don't know," she admitted, "I've already got survival skills for a lot of environments. Maybe I'd do better as a footsoldier, or something,"

"Don't be a footsoldier," Poe told her, returning to stand in front of her, "It's the most dangerous. We lose more ground troops than any other group, simply because of the stormtroopers. Finn's been helping revise the training scheme but it's still an uneven match," he hesitated, surveying her, "You could do recon or intel. Except you'll have to get yourself to a healthy weight, first,"

"I've never had a problem before,"

"You look starved," he told her, stepping closer. He took her arm, pushing her jacket's sleeve up and wrapping his hand around her wrist, then made a small circle with his thumb and forefinger. "That's how small your wrists are, Helix. Even kids aren't that small,"

Helix stepped back, suddenly self conscious again. She hugged herself, looking away.

"I've always been this size," she admitted, "I mean, we always had food and I can hunt, so its not like I've ever truly starved, I just," she shrugged, "I don't grow,"

"Things have to change, if you want to sign up," Poe told her, stepping back and grabbing his ladder, "They have medical tests and there's no way you'd pass with that figure. Sorry to tell you,"

Helix sighed, before looking back at him. "Take care of yourself," she told him, and he grinned.

"You, too. I'll look forward to seeing you when I get back."

* * *

 **A/N:** _Hello? Is there anyone out there? Anyone at all?_

 _I've almost finished writing this so updates will be as frequent as my internet connection allows, but I need something in return: Feedback. Do you like it? Do you have any theories to where it'll lead? What was the deal with that Tammuz-an two or three chapters ago? What. Do. You. Think? Feedback is always HUGELY appreciated and I try to reply where possible._

 _Talk to me. Please?_


	9. Practice

"Are you sure about this?"

General Organa watched Helix's face as she hesitated. Leia had looked over the girl's medical records herself, and she seemed to be in good health. There was, of course, the girl's nutrition levels, but none could deny she was working on fixing that; she was taking larger portions than both her brothers, and could often be caught raiding the kitchens. More than once, she had offered to do a supply run to one of the nearby systems and when questioned about it she had replied that she felt like she owed them for all the food she was eating.

Leia had told the girl herself not to leave the base. The next day, Helix had returned aboard one of their supply shuttles, having bartered twice the usual amount out of their supplier.

She had progressed significantly in the three weeks she had spent with them. Her face no longer looked so gaunt and she'd had to take new clothing, as her old clothing had grown too small. They had put her to work repairing the service droids, a task she handled well and she had seemed content with until she figured out what else she wanted to do.

Leia had also noticed the changes in her brothers. Azros Kess had already begun his piloting classes, and seemed to be a natural with the standard fighter system, integrating himself so well that they had already discovered he didn't need an astromech droid co-piloting. His confidence had grown, and reports showed his targeting accuracy had improved from twelve to forty-eight percent in just two weeks.

Loren Reyne had also shown an aptitude for people at first, tracking down each of his superiors and picking their brains. None could deny that he wanted to excel, although there was the slight stain of his "habits" that marred their opinions.

Luke had warned her to watch Loren closely, and she had. She had noticed him, and noticed his skills. She had noticed that he had a habit of using them on people who couldn't sense it, only occasionally at first but over the short time he had begun using them more and more. Some of the others in the control centre had already begun to avoid him, and Leia had also noticed that even Helix and Azros seemed to avoid him in recent days.

She hadn't had a chance to speak to Luke privately about these developments, and she had a feeling that if anyone but Luke tried to talk to Loren, he wouldn't listen. She had considered asking Helix, but the girl had already made it clear that she was wary of people who had an ability to control the Force. That had been obvious in her reaction to Luke.

Leia looked over the application again. Despite her size, Helix was, in fact, twenty-one, old enough to join any unit with the required skills training. She had bounced back from the loss of her guardian and her ordeal on the Tammuz-an ship quickly, an indication of mental and emotional resilience. When the trio had been brought to the base, Leia had cursed Keslin Kess for the way he had apparently mistreated them. If only she had been more insistent eighteen years ago, they could have lived very different lives. It appeared that her initial assessment had been wrong, though.

Luke had already spoken to Leia about Helix, though. She was as Force-sensitive as her brother, and Luke had specifically requested that Leia avoid putting her in a position where she could fall in the hands of the First Order.

"Have you considered a position in command?" Leia offered, "We are always seeking young people to join our officer program,"

"With all do respect, Ma'am, I think I'd make a terrible officer,"

"Ground Force means you will be away for extended periods of time," Leia tried a different angle, "You've barely left Azros' side-"

"Azros will have completed his training in just a few months, and he will also be travelling away for periods of time,"

"And Loren?"

"He works in communications," Helix pointed out, "If I can't get in contact with someone from comms, I'm in trouble," Helix shrugged, "Even when we were in hiding, I was often given the most dangerous tasks after Keslin. I have the survival skills,"

"That is true," Leia agreed, sighing heavily, "But danger there was one that could be escaped from - a mindless beast or feral species. Our idea of danger wields a blaster and is allied with the Dark Side of the Force,"

Helix shifted slightly at mention of the Force, but her face remained impassive.

"I understand, General, and I accept those risks,"

Leia sighed heavily. The girl's stubbornness reminded her of Han, and she knew the two would have gotten along famously had he still been with them. Almost two years and still the memory of him made her heart ache.

"General Organa," Helix leaned on the desk between them, "I have three different climate survival skill sets. I've learned to hunt with bow and blade, and I've been practising in the simulator with my blaster aim. I've been a hunter, and can track a target undetected, and remain unnoticed in various environments. The only thing I wouldn't suit in Ground Force is full-frontal combat, and I'll bet anything General Skywalker has already told you not to let me be in that group,"

Leia looked at her sharply. The thought had crossed her mind barely seconds before Helix had said it. "How would you know that?" she asked.

"He all but told me he wanted to train me the last time I saw him," Helix admitted, before shaking her head, "I don't want anything to do with it. Loren's the one that wants to be a Jedi, not me. I'm happy to be a part of the Resistance, as Ground Force,"

"General Skywalker believes you would be suited to a position as a Jedi," Leia told her, "He believes you are too valuable to the Resistance to be placed in a position of danger. Helix, you could be a Jedi Knight, a guardian of peace and order throughout the galaxy,"

Helix arched an eyebrow, "General, do you truly believe I am a 'peace and order' type of person? I want to stand for what I believe in, and that means I side with the Resistance. Not the Jedi, not the First Order, and _certainly_ not this Dark Side. Please, Leia," she leaned on the desk, pleading, using Leia's first name, "I've finally figured out what I want to do. Let me follow that path. Give me a chance."

Leia sighed heavily, before stamping the girl's application. "You'll leave for training the day after tomorrow, under Captain Tesli. You will be away for up to three months. I expect you to continue improving your eating habits and if Captain Tesli is unhappy with your health's progression, he will reject you from the program,"

Sometimes, Leia later reflected, it was worth making an exception just to see so much hope return to someone's spirit.

* * *

Helix woke early and ate a triple helping of breakfast, hiding several additional pieces of fruit in her pockets and pack before heading to the flight deck. She had already said goodbye to Loren and Azros. They had both filled out faster than her and it had been odd, hugging Azros and finding that she could no longer feel his ribs.

"Be careful down there," Loren had warned, "I've seen the files, and it isn't just the tasks that are dangerous - the last few returns have been animal attacks and stings,"

"I'll be fine," Helix had reassured him. After the first week, however, she had changed her attitude.

Training involved them travelling to various planets and complete tasks that lasted several days, in addition to standard combat tasks and mechanical tasks. There seemed to be more emphasis on survival and hiding, Helix noticed, two of her strengths.

They received the brief for their first task on the shuttle. They were split into groups of four, given a map and coordinates for a landing platform they were to make their way to. Their drop location, however, turned out to be on the other side of the planet, and upon realising that they hadn't been given enough rations for the full journey, arguments had broken out. Lieutenant Shei, their supervisor, said nothing as the three grown men argued for an hour over how to divide rations - before Helix had returned, dropping the carcass of a large native four-legged animal beside the fire.

"That'll feed us tonight and part of tomorrow," she had told them, "But you'll have to skin it first."

Lieutenant Shei hadnt said a word, but she allowed a small smile for Helix, before making a mental note. For the week it took the group to trek through the forestry, Helix continued to hunt, and teach two of her three teammates to hunt and skin and prepare a wild animal for eating. She also helped them by identifying many trees that bore edible leaves, and wild-growing fruits and vegetables.

When a dangerous storm approached, she diverted them from their path, leading them down a steep gully, then through a narrow fissure in the rock wall - a fissure that led, to their surprise, into a large cave, and one that was partially furnished.

"This is where we used to live," she explained finally that evening, while the storm howled outside. At a touch, the primitive cooking station had become alive, and she had lit a fire within, allowing Logal to take charge of cooking. "I was eighteen when we left. I didn't expect all of our things to still be here, to be honest."

"Finally, a real bed!" Styx exclaimed, inspecting the small alcoves that had served as the bedrooms. Helix wanted to tell him not to sleep there, that it was Keslin's room. Instead, she distanced herself from the feeling, pretending that it had all been a different family living here.

"You lived in caves?"

Everyone turned to Leiutenant Shei suddenly. She hadn't uttered a single word for most of their journey, simply watching and assessing. Now, she stared around the small space, at all the abandoned treasures, tools and toys they had left behind.

"Caves, ruins," Helix shrugged, drawing a circle in the dust that had settled on the table, "Keslin, our guardian, was hunted all his life. He raised my mother and uncle, living as fugitives. They were the reason he stopped hiding, I guess. They lived on Endor during the fall of the Empire, and Mum married and that's me and Loren. Keslin had a wife, and Toras married and had Azros. Technically, we're not blood-related, because Mum was adopted. But she and Toras were as close as any blood, and Azros and I are as close as Loren and I."

"It explains a lot of your skills," Logal admitted, "Hunting, gathering, scavenging, basic tech skills - they're all primitive skills, redundant in modern civilisation,"

"'Redundant'?" Helix asked, arching an eyebrow, "I sat there listening to you lot argue over rations for half an hour before I went off to hunt. One hour, and we had food for two days. At the level of rationing you were suggesting, that buck would have lasted four days. If I had stayed out until dark, like I used to, we would still be living off what I would have killed that first day. Hunting isn't redundant."

She caught Shei smirking in that way again, and knew that the woman's hidden smiles were an indication of her approval.

"Will you be able to find the track again?" Styx asked, "You led us so far-"

Helix pointed to the map that lay on the table. "This gully is pictured on the map," she pointed out, "The track meets up with the end of it. It means we'll miss a marker, but considering this is a survival task and utilising known advantages is part of survival, I'm sure we'd be allowed to skip it. Especially considering storms around here bring down trees, and staying out of danger is essential."

"You're a sharp one," Shei said carefully, watching Helix. She shrugged.

"I grew up with nothing but wits," she replied, "You learn a few things."


	10. The Other Trick to Survival

Their detour through Helix's old home shaved half a day off their expected arrival time. With the storm having held up two of the other three groups, delaying one for almost an entire day, and the third getting lost, they had the entire landing platform base to themselves for an entire day, time that they used for recreation.

Their next task was to rebuild a speeder, something Helix had great difficulty with. A ranking system among the other trainees had been devised, and given her extensive knowledge in the survival task, Helix had been at the top of the group once everyone had called in.

After the speeder task, she was close to the bottom. Determined to see the brighter side, Helix had reminded herself that _her_ speeder hadn't exploded.

Following the speeders incident, they had worked on weaponry, assembling, disassembling, and reassembling blasters and practicing marksmanship. This particular skill, Helix had little experience with but picked up quickly. In the reflex tests, Helix was the fastest, and after a few overnight revision sessions on her own on the landing pad, she passed in the final speeder assessment - just barely.

After three and a half weeks, most of the trainees were glad to see Panartha in the rear viewport as they travelled to the next planet, but Helix felt as though part of her was being left behind on the small planet. It had been Keslin's favourite home, she had known, and she had used one of their last recreation days to return to their home and retrieve some things she had been forced to leave behind when they'd left. She had then made a small memorial for him at the opening, a small cairn of stones piled on top of each other carefully. With any luck, they would at least stay standing until she could bring Loren and Azros back.

The next planet was nicknamed by the pilots - "Two Thousand Ways to Die". Prior to landing, they were given their briefs - which included a detailed list of what plants to avoid, and what to look for in the water to determine whether it was safe or not. The planet turned out to be tropical, disgustingly humid and full of dangerous flora that caused injury ranging from itching rashes that faded after a few hours, to potentially lethal blood viruses. The natural insect fauna were equally dangerous, the many-legged arachnids and legless reptiles among the worst - their bites, if left untended, caused exhaustion, nausea, fever, delirium, and then death.

Helix was partnered with a young Corellian woman, who had already heard from Helix's previous group about her survival skills. She imitated Helix on the third day, when they both cut their hair short to keep the heat away, and insisted on "walking it off" when she scraped her arm against the stinging leaves of a tree - a decision, it turned out, that saved them when the heavens later opened for the afternoon rain. Had they stopped for Esri to heal, they would have been caught out in the rain.

Despite the warnings of dangerous flora and fauna, they still hunted and ate more than they were rationed. Even Lieutenant Shei, their supervisor once again, commended Helix for her learning.

"Nobody has ever been sure what fauna was safe to eat here," she explained as they enjoyed a roasted avian, "They always made sure to allow enough provisions for a few days more than the trek is expected to take,"

"We lived on a tropical world when I first learned hunting," Helix explained, "Some of these animals I've seen here aren't extremely different, probably evolved from the same base genetics. These ones are smaller, though, and more resilient. Harder to kill."

"Is there any climate you haven't lived in?"

"Deserts, but I imagine it would be like this, but far more dry,"

Shei shook her head in wonder.

Shei's attitude towards Helix's knowledge bolstered her confidence, and she more readily identified potential dangers as they continued. They had been given only a map, no pre-determined path to follow this time, and following an afternoon taking shelter in a long-abandoned hut, Esri figured out the shortest path to their intended target, a small native village.

They were the fourth team to arrive, two having been taken there after an encounter with the blood-sucking insects, and another pair delayed by a "shortcut" that led them into a swamp full of snapping fish that had tried to eat them.

Their base task was to assemble a comm unit from junk pieces that could be found in a damaged vehicle, and use it to contact back to the station base. Helix discovered that comm units weren't so different from cybernetic implants, and after this realisation she became more confident in the placing of the various wires and resistors.

Loren answering her call was a nice surprise, too. The trainee comms officers were supposed to be doing the exact same task, except on the base and with higher-powered radios.

Then they did combat. The tall, reptilian natives had the advantage of size and speed, and after the first few sessions everyone was bruised and tired and sore. They learned hand-to-hand, melee, even duelled with blasters - the lasers only stinging, but painful nonetheless.

If they were improving at all, it wasn't evident. Helix _knew_ she was getting faster at blocking attacks and counter-attacking, but it never showed in her combat. She figured out why when they practiced with staffs one afternoon - she and the other trainees had stopped in their own drills to watch as Taen and his partner traded blows so quickly that his partner didn't even have time to shout the drills at hi!. That was when she realised that the natives had slowed their own actions, gradually increasing in speed as the trainees improved.

Their next destination was a desert planet. For the first time, to everyone else's relief, Helix was on a level footing with them for the survival task. Rather than be separated into groups or pairs, however, they had to stay together and survive. They were given barely enough rations to get through the first week, and only enough water for the first three days.

It was Wren's idea to dig for water, and after a lot of arguing, the group divided into two - the group of five who went off in search of water, and the remaining ten who tried to ration the supplies.

When they found a well buried in the sand not far from the camp, Helix was the only one who objected to the idea of keeping it for those who had worked through dehydration to find it. Eventually, the "rationers" gave in and found the well. After that, the rest of the survival task seemed easier.

Helix had an uneasy feeling when the shuttle arrived to collect them for their third training assessment. When they found Luke Skywalker waiting for them on the shuttle, she lost her nerves for just a minute. Everyone was tired, hungry for a decent meal, and despite the well only drying up that morning, slightly dehydrated. They had been looking forward to a brief rest on the surprisingly comfortable shuttle seats as they transferred to their next location.

Instead, they tramped into the main holding area to find Skywalker waiting for them. He must have gestured for those at the head of the group to stop, because nobody moved past him.

Helix stood towards the back of the shuttle, as far away from the Jedi as she could get. This had to be something to do with the Force, she just knew it. She didn't want to take part, but she also didn't want to quit. Three had already quit - Styx, Annes, and Kon, all three who had found the tasks too difficult and asked the supervising officer to send them home. Helix didn't want to be one of those.

"Given the role you have chosen to undertake for the Resistance," Skywalker stated as the shuttle lifted off, shuddering through the atmosphere, "And no matter how much training we offer, there is a chance, however small, that you will be captured. In such an event, it is likely to assume that you will be interrogated."

Helix heard one of the older men muttering to his friend. "They have to do this _now_?"

Evidently, Luke heard him as well, because the corner of his lip twitched upward. "You understand that, in such an event, your captors would not wait for you to be well-dressed and fed and hydrated. They will wait if they have to, until you are exhausted, starving, begging for relief. They will wait until you are at your weakest. Then, they will not ask you for the answers they want. They will take them."

Helix didn't need to see the other trainees' faces to know the silent question they were asking, nor did she need Skywalker to confirm her answer.

"The only Force-users the First Order has are the Knights of Ren," Esri stated, "Doubtful, that they would dispatch one of them for an interrogation,"

"The First Order makes use of any Force-adepts they can find," Skywalker corrected her, "Some of them are officers who stand by during physical interrogations, asking the questions while troopers perform the torture itself. In such condition as you currently are, it would not take long for you to think of your assignment - a stray thought that could be read by even a weak adept, and unravel an entire operation."

Many of her teammates shifted uncomfortably. They had, during one long, hot, sleepless night, discussed the possibility of what someone had called "secret squirrel training", assessing their ability to withstand torture. They had theorised that it would involve some sort of deprivation as the base for the torture, then perhaps a method that involved only a slight amount of pain.

"There is, however, the likelihood that capture during a high-priority assignment will mean one of these Ren will oversee the interrogation," Skywalker continued, "In this case, it often does not matter how well you can withstand physical pain, because thoughts and memories will be extracted from your mind without warning. For the next week, we will focus our energy not on any form of survival or mechanics or fighting - only in strengthening mental defenses. Defenses which we will be assessing _now_."

He turned and faced Esri, who straightened up and gazed back at him. From where Helix stood, she saw him raise a hand, holding his palm right beside her temple.

"The purpose is to find your worst memory," he told her, his voice low. Helix heard him, though, and several memories flashed to mind - Keslin dying, waking up when she was fourteen, any of Loren's intrusions...

He had said something about being as gentle as he could when reading, Helix remembered, but Esri's reaction suggested otherwise. The older woman began to breathe harshly, and whimpered softly. Skywalker lowered his hand, touching her shoulder as her entire frame shook. He nodded to her, and she started for the table, grabbing a plate as he moved to the next person. The entire exchange had taken less than a minute.

Helix tried to find darker shadows to hide herself in. She wanted to push her Wall up, to prevent him coming near her, but Shei gave her a sharp look and she reluctantly moved forward to join the group as the others murmured among themselves. Skywalker paused at each person for less than a minute, moving to the next once his victim had begun to shake, cry softly, or respond in some other way. As he finished with each person, leaving them in various states of distress, he gestured for them to help themselves to the food and drink at the far end and seat themselves in the passenger lounge.

Logal was the last one before Helix, and he dissolved to tears before Skywalker had even raised his hand. The Jedi - peace and justice, General Organa had told her - continued, and the man cried aloud as Skywalker finished with him.

"Have something to eat, rest," Skywalker told him, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. Logal nodded, hurrying to join the others who now lingered, waiting to see the result of Helix's assessment.

"You do this too well," she accused as he approached her.

"I have the unfortunate pleasure of being the only trained Jedi among the Resistance," he replied tersely, "Better to have you prepared. Don't be afraid,"

"Fat chance of that," Helix replied as he raised his hand. She had already decided to resist him, as strongly as she could. She didn't know what her worst memory was, but she had plenty to choose from, and none that she wanted him - or anyone else, for that matter - to see.

She felt it, the nudge against her mind. It was like something brushing gently against her head except _inside_ , where she couldn't brush it away with a hand. She had no control, except for that over her Wall.

She pushed him back, out of her head, and he pushed back, stronger. She struggled against him, feeling as his presence closed around her mind, covering her wall. She had closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as he pushed harder, the strength of his force pushing her Wall back, shrinking it. She felt it when he reached her surface memories, rifling through them for something, anything. Dissatisfied, he kept pushing, his strength increasing.

Helix pushed back, trying to match him, but he was stronger, closing the Wall in an iron grip that kept shrinking. She'd had plenty of these struggles with Loren, but Skywalker, she knew, was far stronger. He could have broken through by now, she knew.

 _So why hadn't he?_

Helix opened her eyes, the room swimming before her suddenly, and she felt her Wall shatter as her last reserves of energy fled her body. Her knees buckled, and she would have hit the ground hard if it weren't for someone catching her.

Shouting above her from somewhere, and then she felt a sense of weightlessness, floating in air. Something... _Something was wrong_. Talking, people talking, anxious voices, a woman screaming, a child sobbing, more voices chattering, and that woman screaming again.


	11. Hidden Strengths

**A/N:** _I've been trying to aim for about 1800-2k words per chapter but keep ending up closer to 2500. So, sorry about the chapter lengths._

 _If you're enjoying this and have made it this far, shoot me a review or a like, just so I know people actually like this. Going back over this I've realised I'm a bit rusty in my technique, and I've been writing this on a tablet - so autocorrect has been auto-capitalising certain words that probably shouldn't be as well as skipping over errors I would never normally make using a full size keyboard. Sorry for any issues, they will be fixed when I go through and edit._

 _Anyway, read, enjoy, review/fave/follow/all of the above. Onwards!_

* * *

Helix was staring at the ceiling.

"You exhausted yourself," someone said beside her, and she turned her head to look at Azros, who looked like he had missed sleep. She sat up on her elbows, looking around, and realised she was in the medbay.

"I didn't get rejected, did I?" she asked, fearful. Azros snorted.

"You pushed yourself _way_ past the limits of any normal person, Helix, all to succeed in a training exercise! If they throw you out for that, I'll leave right alongside you,"

"I should hope not,"

Helix shifted so she was sitting properly in her pillows as General Organa approached. Helix hadn't seen her at all when she had scanned the room moments before.

"Luke has decided that you should sit this part of the training out," Organa told her, "He has determined that for you to take part, it could be detrimental to your health, possibly in an irreversible way." Organa smiled gently, "The fact that you pushed yourself beyond the limitations of most people to keep away a non-threatening person, however, speaks highly in your favour."

"Yeah," Helix grimaced, rubbing at the side of her head, "I'll remind myself of that,"

"He was using an intensity that would have caused anyone else enough pain to go mad," Organa told her, "And you withstood that, dehydrated, starving, and exhausted as you were. That is a formidable strength."

Azros and General Organa were the only two to see her during her brief return home. The other trainees, she learned, were on a small cruiser for the duration of their week of mental resistance training. Helix spent most of the time in the cockpit, learning what she could about flying from the pilot and co-pilot, who were more than willing to show her how to handle the small cruiser.

Helix avoided Skywalker as much as possible, and spent as much of her time in the small recreation room that held the fitness equipment, working on her strength. She was still bony, a physical build that had not been helped by cut rations during the desert routine nor a return to her old diet in the previous two months. Fortunately, rava and speti turned out to be a staple in Resistance diet and it became a common sight for the trainees to see Helix struggling with the small pasta pouches or strings.

They were called into the main lounge on the fifth day and handed their final briefing by Captain Tesli, who told them it would be a solo assignment and they had one week to complete it. Helix read through the briefing, which was straightforward enough.

"You may work together with another teammate, but you must operate under the assumption that their goal is different to your own. You all have different end goals - do not share this information with each other. You will be given up to a week to complete your set task by any means necessary; after which time you will contact Lieutenant Shei or Marek, and they will give you the coordinates of the shuttle's location."

Helix glanced around, realising most of the others appeared to be pairing off. She re-read her briefing again and then tucked it into her jacket.

The planet they set down on was an arctic world, covered in ice and snow as far as they could see. They scattered immediately, heading in different directions. The task involved getting as close to a base as possible without being detected, conduct a surveillance scan, and gather enough information to create a technical readout for the base. Helix's personal task involved finding a weakness in the base's security arrangements.

The inhabitants of the small outpost hadn't been notified of the exercise, and went about their business as usual. Twice, they encountered something that seemed to be a blip, but paid it no attention. Captain Tesli, however, was monitoring all of the outpost's systems and saw the blips, making note of which trainees had alerted the sensors.

They were so focused on the security sensors that they paid very little attention to the report of a young teenager being brought into the base, having been rescued from the icy wastes to the south. It had been a miracle the girl had been alive, the outpost's doctor noted, and she claimed to have been searching for people for two days.

The leader of the outpost, Commander Reynolds, interviewed the teenager himself in the control room. Shortly afterwards, all power systems in the base went down, plunging the inhabitants into darkness.

In the following confusion, the girl disappeared. Power was restored to the base, but it was several hours before anyone realised the girl was unaccounted for - by which time Helix had found her way back to the pickup shuttle.

"It was cheating!" Captain Tesli insisted, hours later, pacing in front of Helix, General Organa, and Major Ematt. "The primary objective was to avoid detection, and she waltzed right in there, giving herself up immediately,"

"You were the one who told us to consider our strengths and weaknesses and use them to our advantage," Helix pointed out, "Do you know how many times a day I get told I look like a kid? I thought I may as well use it,"

"If that had been a First Order outpost, results would have been very different," Tesli snapped.

"Obviously things would be different for a First Order outpost, but that wasn't a First Order outpost," Helix pulled out the crumpled sheet of paper that had her task written on it, "'Primary objective: avoid detection as an enemy agent' - which I did - 'Secondary objective: Perform surveillance and gain enough information to provide a detailed analysis to commanding officer' - which I did, too - 'Private mission: infiltrate base and identify any strategic weaknesses' - well, I think letting a stranger into the main control room was a key strategic weakness, don't you? As was letting that stranger wander around the entire base and set a minor disruption at the power generators, that seemed like another weakness,"

Leia watched the girl defend herself, unable to stop a small smile twisting the corners of her lips. She had also read Lieutenant Shei's reports on the girl, particularly the one from Panartha. Helix had a knack for using what she knew was provided, and given the increasing desperation of their incursions and ground assignments, such skills were desperately needed in commanding officers.

"In summarisation," Leia stated, cutting off the pair's argument, "Reyne completed the objectives as stated in the briefing, correct?"

"With the exception of-"

"Correct, Captain?"

Tesli scowled. "Correct, General,"

"And Reyne has passed all other tasks in training?"

"Yes, barely,"

Leia knew the man was lying - the only task Helix had just barely scraped an acceptable rank in was the speeders. Everything else was at minimum, a credit, with the survival tasks earning her high commendations from all but Tesli. Her medical knowledge had helped them through their tropical task, and the mental resistance task - even Luke had been surprised at the strength of her defenses.

"Then, I believe it is safe to say that Reyne is worthy of admission as a recon agent to the Resistance?"

Tesli nodded tersely, shooting Helix a glare.

* * *

Loren had heard she was back, and was waiting when she stepped out of the private office. He stopped as he saw her, barely recognising her for a moment.

"You grew!" he finally said, wrapping her in a hug, "You're up to my chin,"

"Of all the things to notice, you picked that?" Helix laughed as Major Ematt stepped out of the office behind her. "I cut my hair and the desert darkened my skin, too,"

"You filled out," Loren also noted, looking her up and down, "I can barely see your wrist bones, now,"

"Rava," she shrugged, "It's my new love."

"Agent Reyne, a word if you please,"

It took Helix a moment to realise Major Ematt was talking to her - Loren was "Cadet Reyne", still studying to become a lieutenant.

Agent Reyne. Helix liked the way it sounded.

"I'll catch up later," she told Loren, who grinned, before following Major Ematt.

"First of all, I'd like to begin by saying your father would be very proud of you, Agent," he stated. Helix glanced at him as he led her along various corridors.

"You knew my father?" she asked, unable to help herself. He nodded.

"Before he became an officer, Yeron served under me as a recon agent as well. Our primary objective was to locate potential sites for new bases for the Alliance,"

Keslin had barely spoken of Captain Yeron Taruk, Helix and Loren's father. He was a scout of some sort, she had known, and it was during his very last assignment that he had been killed by a rogue unit of stormtroopers. When she focused carefully, she could only just barely recall a man with short, dark brown hair and dark blue eyes, like Loren's.

"He was a very great man, honourable to the end. He loved all three of you very much."

Helix wanted to know more, but realised they had reached Ematt's office. Finn had said at some point that Ematt was the type to keep business in the office, and personal matters outside. If that was true, the personal discussion had ended.

"Now, personal matters aside," he said, confirming Helix's thoughts as he gestured for her to enter, "I am aware that you are technically still a recruit, at least until the end of this week, but General Organa has already given me permission to brief you on your first assignment."

Helix settled into a seat facing Ematt across a desk, trying to still her excitement. She wasn't even completely finished with training and was already getting an assignment!

He took his own seat and rifled through a pile of folders, selecting one and holding it out to her.

"In short, we need more bases," he told her, "With your already extensive survival knowledge, and first-hand experiences of "living rough", as we call it, you make the perfect candidate to assess the potentiality of certain sites, for developing outposts that can later become a base. This is a list of surveyed sites we will be sending you to. You will be given more files to read on base assessment, specifically what is required from a location, but aside from minor specific details, you should be able to guess at what is required,"

"Access to a fresh water supply, cover from elements, a local food supply-"

"That's it," Ematt nodded, almost smiling. Helix took the brief from him and flipped it open, scanning the list as he continued, "You will be assigned a pilot, and you will leave in four days - that should give you enough time to rest and regroup with your fellow trainee friends."

* * *

"You only just finished training and you've already got an assignment," Finn shook his head in disbelief, "Even I wasn't given that. Somebody must have given you some _really_ high commendations."

"The General mentioned that," Helix told him, "Apparently I got one for taking a detour on Panartha, which kept us safe from a storm and took half a day off our total trip, and another one for having the foresight to hunt on Denab."

"Panartha," Loren tapped his fork against his teeth, frowning in thought, "We lived there, didn't we? Before Takodana,"

Helix nodded slowly, "And I'm not sure, but I think the outpost I had to infiltrate was our old home on Rekkiad,"

"Nah, there's no base on Rekkiad," he replied, "That would have been Hoth you were on. The Rebel Alliance had a base there that they had to abandon when the Empire found it. The Resistance moved back in only recently, downsizing the base to become an outpost only. Did you get any commendations for Vandos? The desert planet?"

Helix shrugged, picking at her food. Azros hadn't told Loren the exact conditions of Helix's "illness", only that she had fainted from exhaustion and been brought back to the base for a few hours. Loren had already expressed his annoyance at not being notified until after Helix had returned to training, but he left it at seething and that was it.

"You really should have gotten some sort of recognition," he said, "I overheard two of the officers discussing it. Something about pushing yourself far beyond anything anyone else could have endured,"

"It really wasn't," Helix murmured, deciding. "The task was to resist a mind read,"

Loren frowned at her, staring, and Finn leaned across the table.

"Was that with Master Luke? What happened?"

"He tried to read my mind, and I didn't let him," Helix replied, shrugging, "No different to anything you've tried, Loren, although he gave me warning,"

Loren shook his head. "How is it not different? You know me, we're blood. He doesn't know anything about you, he could have seriously hurt you - and he did!"

"He didn't _hurt_ me, Loren," Helix snapped, feeling that cold sensation rising in her chest, "Resisting him was nothing like what you used to do. He told me what he was going to do, I knew before he even began. You never gave me warning, except for in the very beginning,"

"I'm your brother! I was trying to help you!"

Helix scoffed, "If that's your idea of _help_ , I'd hate to see what you call torture,"

Loren stood up, and Helix sensed his anger, almost radiating off him - but the coldness gave her the courage to stand up to him.

"You don't understand _half_ of what I've done for you! You wouldn't even be here if it weren't for me! Now you're saying I'm not allowed to get angry when someone else hurts you?"

She let her fork drop to her tray and stood up, "At least I didn't have to beg him to stop - even then, you would never listen,"

Before Loren or Finn could say anything, Helix whirled around and ran out of the hall. Tears stung at her eyes, and she felt guilty for her final remark, but she didn't regret it. She would talk to him later, make everything alright.

Actually, she _did_ regret something - not finishing her meal before she had left.


	12. New Lives Growing Apart

Helix didn't have a chance to talk to Loren a second time. He seemed determined to avoid her, sulking after their argument, and she didn't get the chance to apologise.

She was introduced to an Echani male who she was informed would be her pilot, and for her first assignment would join her in the scouting tasks.

Dakto Naseen, she discovered quickly, was as ill-tempered as Keslin had been, but he was friendly enough that they enjoyed long discussions. When he discovered that her knowledge of galactic history was lacking, he took it upon himself to teach her all he knew.

They were sent to a series of planets, two of which Helix recognised - Sedri, where she had lived in her early teenage years, and Canastra IV, where she had learned to swim underwater and control her breathing very carefully. When she related this information to Dakto, his heavy brows pulled together.

"Exactly how many times did you move about as a youngling?" he had asked her.

"Eight,"

He hadn't replied after that, and she had wondered if she'd said something to upset him.

They returned to the station only long enough to deliver the report Helix had compiled, before Major Ematt sent them off to help Colonel Cortene at the Yavin base. Several of his recon scouts had discovered a hidden First Order base, and were pinned down by heavy fire. Helix and Dakto went in with a squadron of X-wings, who provided aerial support while Helix and Dakto helped the other agents to escape.

Dakto's shuttle sustained heavy damage, and it kept them grounded at Yavin for close to two weeks. Helix took the time to learn more about the Resistance's communications arrays, and one of the Commanders allowed her to practice flying in an old A-wing, something Major Ematt had suggested she learn. As an agent, she would eventually need to rely on herself to pilot something, and there had been very little piloting involved in training.

They were then sent to deliver classified information directly to Colonel Makaret at the re-established D'Qar base. Ever eager to please, Dakto volunteered them to collect records that had fallen into the hands of the First Order on a moon, and it was there that Helix first discovered what it was like to be shot. Dakto provided backup, rescuing her, but she was forced to remain at D'Qar for several days as Doctor Navissen healed her injuries.

During her "healing process", Helix admitted to Dakto that she wanted to go home, even just for a day, and he agreed. When an assignment came up that involved collecting a batch of crystals from Ilum and taking them to the Jedi Skywalker, they jumped at the opportunity. An easy enough task, as the crystals had already been harvested, and Dakto had already learned of her dislike of the Force, and offered to deliver them.

Helix fell into her bed, groaning loudly. Her three roommates were nowhere to be seen, and the few minor possessions she had collected from Takodana were still stowed under her bed. Weary from weeks of space travel and reconnaissance and extraction assignments, she fell asleep without bothering to change out of her clothes.

She was woken by sharp knocking on the door, a sound that reverberated through the room and pounded on her eardrums. Helix drew herself up groggily, shedding the flight jacket she still wore. The climates of Yavin and D'Qar had introduced singlets to her small wardrobe, and she was thankful for the cool, recycled air that was pumped into the rooms of the station base.

The door slid open at her touch and Azros and Finn stared at her. It had been at least a month and a half since she had seen either of them, she realized, but they still looked as she had last seen them - Azros' hair had grown slightly, but it was still shaved away on the left, kept short so as not to interfere with the implant, which had been switched for a black metal version. Finn hadn't changed, but he was the first to notice the changes in her.

"You got shot!" he exclaimed, spotting the scar on her shoulder from the blaster wound, "When?"

"A few weeks ago," she replied, stepping back so they could enter, "Second time we had to face down the First Order. What's new here?"

Azros embraced her gently, grinning. "Not a lot of difference," he told her, "Except that I had my first assignment,"

Helix high-fived Azros in celebration, "Good to hear! How's Loren's studies going?"

Finn looked at Azros, who hesitated. "Good, his studies are going well," Azros replied. Helix sensed it immediately, the tension. It was stronger than she remembered it, though.

"What's happened?" she asked warily.

"He's been using his Force abilities," Finn replied, before Azros could get a word in. Helix frowned. "He's been using them on everyone,"

She stared, looking at Azros to see if it was true. Reluctantly, he nodded.

"Mostly just mind reading," he told her.

"" _Mostly_ "?" Helix heard her voice rise an octave, "He's been using his persuasion? Do _not_ tell me he's been using his persuasion!"

"He's been using his persuasion," Azros told her reluctantly, "He's also... Started moving things around,"

That was no news to Helix; she had known he was practising it on Takodana. "What kind of things?"

"He can only do it when he's angry, at the moment," Azros told her, "At first it was little things, make something shake or rattle, send something flying across the room. Now, though," Azros sighed, "He breaks things, can throw bigger things around. Sometimes... Sometimes it feels like you can't move around him, and..."

Helix guessed, but it was Finn who said it. "He threw Azros across the room, without even touching him,"

Helix sighed heavily, sitting on the bed between the two. "Who else knows?"

"No one," Azros replied, "Master Luke might have sensed it, but he won't even look at Loren much less chastise him for abusing the Force. Helix," he turned to her, grabbing her hands, "I know it scares you, but please, _please_ , go to him. He'll listen to you, he always has. He's falling into something dark and we can't lose him, not so soon after Keslin. He's our brother, even if he is a pain. For the sake of our brother, _please_ ,"

Helix hesitated, then nodded. It had been so long since she'd encountered other Force-adepts that she was almost ready to believe she could aummon the courage to face Loren - even if he was getting stronger.

As a cadet, Loren was still in a shared apartment, but he had the luxury of a private sleeping area. Helix was relieved to find him there, alone.

He had changed as much as her. He now stood taller than before, and had developed a lean, muscular frame, the plumpness gone. He embraced her, but she could tell just by looking at him that something was amiss.

He welcomed her into his small sleeping area, and she almost choked. The air seemed to be thick with something, a dark, cold feeling that not only invaded her sense of smell but also seemed tangible enough that she could taste it.

"I've been... lost, without you," he told her slowly, carefully, "You were always a guiding light for me, always brought me back to my senses when I went too far. Nobody else does that here,"

Helix watched him as he paced. "You've always known there would come a day when I wouldn't be around to remind you," she told him, "Why haven't you tried to control yourself? You don't need my guidance,"

"My powers are getting stronger," he told her, changing the subject slightly, "I can summon things, send them away. Make things rattle and move without touching them. I can even make some things explode,"

"Loren-"

"Helix," he spun around to face her, "I'm strong. I'm powerful. I can learn this on my own if I must, but it would take too long. I _need_ Master Skywalker to notice me, to devote his entire attention to me,"

"Skywalker already has an apprentice," Helix reminded him.

"Well _I_ should be apprentice in her place!"

"Rey is just as powerful, if not more than you," Helix had finally met Rey, in the few days she'd had spare between returning from training and going on her first task. Rey seemed kind, friendly, and they had discovered that their shared naïveté when first being reintroduced to civilisation was something they could confide in each other. For a Force-user, Helix had decided, Rey was alright.

She had, however, resolved to never tell anyone why she had been so shocked to recognise the other girl.

Hekix could see Loren's fists clench, but she hadn't expected the drinking container on the bedside table to fly off so violently that it smashed against the wall. The impact made Helix jump.

"I could be as powerful as Rey!" Loren snapped, "She's only that strong because he favours her! He doesn't see me for who I truly am, a master of mind and soon to become a master of control,"

"You don't seem very controlled to me," Helix told him, rising. She could feel the atmosphere changing, the Dark, cloying, invisible substance shifting, swirling, surrounding him. She had entered with her Wall up, but now it pushed through, seeping through small cracks. She wanted to leave.

" _I. Have. Power!_ " Loren cried, throwing out an arm towards Helix. Her Wall seemed to shatter, crumble as the invisible tendrils wrapped around her, immobilising her so suddenly that she swore her heart froze in terror.

She flew through the air, crashing against the wall, but the tendrils pinned her there, unable to move. She struggled, helpless, and they pulled her forwards.

Loren's hand wrapped around her throat, holding her off the ground, his grip tight enough that it was cutting off her oxygen. Helix struggled to breathe, nails scraping against his exposed forearm. Tears sprang to her eyes, and for the briefest moment his blue eyes seemed to flash yellow.

"You can see it," he hissed at her, "That's why you've always been so scared of me, because you fear power, and you _know_ that with training, I could be stronger than even the Sith ever were! That's why you, who could have, never spoke to Skywalker, never suggested Keslin teach me, why _you_ have always tried to keep me down!"

"Loren...I..." Helix struggled to breathe, his grip tightening around her throat. The edges of her vision were blurring, turning dark, but she forced it away.

Then he was inside her head. Not a gentle query, as it had always been, but a desperate, raw display of power.

"I can have anything I want, and you've always stopped me," he hissed at her. Helix wanted to cry out but she couldn't even breathe, let alone make a sound. He moved through her mind roughly, cutting through her memories and thoughts, dissecting her alive. It was as though he had dug an icy blade into the base of her skull and was twisting it, yet she was still alive, still _feeling_ it. She couldn't breathe as her head seemed to split apart, and darkness was crowding the edge of her vision.

The coldness raged inside her suddenly, and it felt like she was exploding, her entire being ripping apart. She cried out, then her feet hit the ground and air rushed back into her body so quickly she began to choke on it, gasping, coughing, retching. She struggled to sit up, noticing that Loren was sprawled on his back on the other side of the room, as though he'd been knocked aside. His presence was gone from her mind, but the pain lingered, a reminder of what he was now capable of. Helix tugged at the collar of her shirt, pulling it away from her throat as though it were still obstructing her breathing.

"You're weak,"

Helix staggered to her feet and spun to see Loren slowly sitting up, and he gazed at her. "Weak and pathetic. You're not my sister,"

"No, apparently I never was," Helix heard herself say, her voice shaky. The coldness was still in her chest, dark yet lending her strength again. Before he could respond, she fled, leaving him alone.

The last few minutes came flooding back to Loren in a rush, and he realised what he had just done. He staggered to his feet, stumbling towards the door, into the passageway.

"Helix!" he cried, "Helix, come back! I'm sorry!"


	13. For The Sake of My Brother

She hesitated at the door, watching the two exchange blows. Their dance seemed graceful, faster than anything she had ever witnessed, and the way they handled the crackling blades of plasma was as though the blades, one green and one blue, were a natural extension of their arms.

Helix tried to stay in the shadows as he moved fast, swinging his lightsaber around in a sharp swing, only to meet hers. The blades screamed as they crashed against each other, then a deft flick sent the blue clattering across the floor, leaving her defenceless as he levelled his blade at her throat.

"You need to work on your wrist movements," he told her, before deactivating his blade with a soft hiss, "They are weak, and leave you open to lose your weapon through a simple twist such as that. We are done for the day, go and rest."

Helix pressed herself further back, hoping to avoid being seen as Rey collected her dropped lightsaber and left. She was alone in the room with the Jedi, Skywalker. The Hunter in her could not fail to notice that he was still armed, hadn't stowed his lightsaber yet. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

She started for the exit, moving as silently as possible, hoping to avoid detection.

"You look far better than last we met, Helix,"

It unnerved her that he used her first name, more than the fact that she hadn't been able to avoid detection. Loren, even when he was using his blessed Force, had never been able to detect her.

Skywalker belted his lightsaber, turning to face her. "You seem troubled," he remarked, "An uneasiness that has caused you to seek me out, when you have spent as much time as possible avoiding me."

Helix realised that he already knew, he was just waiting for her to say it. Reluctantly, she stepped forward, out of the shadows, but kept her distance. Her heart was racing with fear, and she had already made sure her Wall was cast, surrounding her, protecting her. She would not allow him to catch her off-guard, like the first time they had met. Nor would she give him the opportunity he'd had during her training.

"It's my brother," she began, then remembered he was technically an officer, "Sir."

Skywalker nodded in understanding, approaching slowly. Each step he took towards her made her want to run, but she took a deep, steadying breath and reminded herself that this was needed. Loren needed her to help him right now, needed her to be brave.

"Come with me," Skywalker told her, "An empty hangar is not a good place to discuss private things,"

He never laid a hand on her, only gestured for her to follow as he led the way through the hallways. Helix kept at least a metre of distance between them, almost certain that if he were closer, her Wall would be as ineffective as it had been against Loren.

He pressed an access panel and a door slid up. The room he led her into was oval, a wide window giving a grand view of the galaxy beyond the Resistance fleet. The lighting in the room was subdued, with a very faint green-blue tint to it, and potted plants had been placed around the room. Another door presumably led to another room, and Helix suddenly realised that this was most likely Skywalker's private apartment.

She had to take another deep breath to stop herself from leaving. She had preferred to face him in the empty hangar, at least there was a chance somebody would encounter them. Nobody was able to enter here without Skywalker's permission, and she doubted that any who had such permissions would interrupt them.

"You wish to speak about your brother," he prompted, gesturing for her to sit on one of the four strange seats that sat in a circle. He had taken up position on one, sitting cross-legged, and she copied him, sitting directly opposite.

"Yes, Sir,"

"Military titles are not necessary here, have no meaning. "Master" or "Luke" will suffice," he told her gently. Helix nodded slowly, heart racing at the rebuke. She tested her Wall, to make sure it was still strong, before beginning again.

"Luke," she stated, the name feeling unfamiliar on her tongue, "As I'm sure you're aware, my brother, Loren, is what I believe you refer to as a Force-adept,"

Skywalker regarded her with his intense blue eyes, searching her face for something but she refused to give anything away. "He has always tried to develop his abilities on what he believed to be unsuspecting people-"

"General Organa has already informed me that he has been exercising such abilities," Skywalker told her, "He is already quite strong, though his intentions are misguided. He seeks power through the Force, a dangerous path that I do not condone his following,"

"If he were to learn, though," Helix took a deep breath, "If he were to learn from you-"

"I cannot teach Loren,"

Helix stared, her heart plummeting. No, she couldn't give up. She had to try, for her brother's sake. "He will listen to you," she persisted, ever aware that she was pressing dangerous territory. He didn't seem like the type to anger easily, but neither did Loren. "If I had been here, I could have looked out for him, kept him in line. He used to listen to me, but since I've been away, he doesn't any more. He would listen to you; he idolises you,"

"Your brother has already begun down the Dark path," Skywalker told her.

"A few steps, but nothing more-"

"He is ruled by his anger and his frustration," Skywalker told her. He had not raised his voice, but the rebuke seemed to jolt her. "I have tried to teach others like him to throw away their anger, but always it will remain, hidden beneath the surface until it explodes," Skywalker hesitated, "As it was with Ben Solo, so I fear it would be for your brother. His anger could be exploited by Supreme Leader Snoke, but as he is untrained and unstable, he has no appeal to any who may try to exploit him,"

"You're doing it to protect him?" Helix asked.

"I am neglecting him to protect all of us," he replied. Helix let out a breath, still unable to relax. She resolved to never let her defences down around Loren, if she ever went near him again. If he ever found out... Well, she had no true idea what he would do, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

"You must care very deeply for your brother, to put aside your own fear for his sake," Helix stared at him, and he smiled. "Yes, I sense your fear. It is the one thing you cannot hide, Helix. But you use it in a way very few have learned to do - where others would let it become anger, to use as an offense, you draw it close, use it as a shroud to guard yourself." His voice softened, turning from slightly amused to very serious, almost sad, "You must have suffered greatly through your years,"

"I never suffered," Helix snapped, almost rising, "I learned to adapt,"

"You fear your own brother," Skywalker commented, "Your fear of him is what has prompted you to seek me out now. He has done something terrible to stir such intense emotion within you, worse than his childhood abuse,"

Helix opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Irritated, she closed her mouth.

Skywalker watched her as she looked away, out the viewport. She had drawn the Wall back in, surrounding only her mind with it and nothing else. Skywalker wouldn't physically harm her, not in his own quarters. There was no need for her anger; he had been stating the truth after all. She realised she was more annoyed by his ability to read her emotions than she had been angry. He was a Jedi, it was what they did.

It was something she had always been able to do, but this time, letting her anger go felt... different. Important in some way.

He tilted his head, regarding her carefully as if she had just done something remarkable. His eyes blazed with intensity as they searched her, top to bottom. He never once probed with the Force, and she was immensely glad that he didn't. Instead, he used his sight, eyes travelling over her as she looked back at him.

"He held me, the last time we spoke," she told him, and he stared at her, "He reached out with his hand and I was a few steps away, but I felt like... like something, someone was pulling me towards him. Then..." she forced herself to take a shaky breath, "Then he tried to read my mind. It wasn't like it used to be, just innocent kids. It was... It was like there was a dark knife, cutting into my mind,"

Her hands were shaking, and she looked down at them. She wouldn't allow herself to cry, not in front of this person. _Show no weakness._

A pair of hands covered her own, and she looked into Luke Skywalker's eyes, seeing nothing but sadness, and kindness. He had moved without her realising, now kneeling before her as he held her hands still.

"Do you think it was dark because I had already said he is becoming Dark?" Luke asked, "Or did it genuinely feel Dark?"

Helix hesitated. She didn't want to remember, to think about it, but maybe with her information, Luke could help her brother.

"It felt like ice," she told him, "I tried to push him out, but every part he touched seemed to freeze. I couldn't think of anything but the pain of him digging through my head,"

Luke was gazing at her, and she became aware that he could simply extract the memory of the feeling if he wanted to know. The fact that he hadn't... She let herself believe that it was his kindness that made him refrain.

"You are very strong to have withstood him," Luke told her, smiling slightly.

"Withstood? He got into my head, got whatever he was looking for,"

"If he had done it to anyone else, he may have killed them,"

Helix felt a chill down her spine. Her brother, _Loren_ , kill someone? The idea was impossible to contemplate. He didn't even eat the meat she had placed on their table because it had been killed. He would never, _never_ do something that might kill someone, even in his anger.

"I may speak with your brother, then," Luke told her, "I will determine whether to train him or not. You, however," he let go of her hands and stood up, moving behind her. Helix turned to see him reaching into the base of one of the potted plants in his lounge. He returned, taking her hand and placing a small, jagged stone in her palm, closing her hand over it.

"You and I are going to meditate," he told her, "Now you have relaxed somewhat, I sense turmoil within you. Your entire being is consumed by it, and such a predisposition will not serve you well,"

Helix opened her palm and looked at the stone. It was slightly rounded at one end, a jagged point at the other, and barely the size of her thumb. Despite it only just being placed in her hand, it was already warm.

"Focus on it," Luke told her, resuming his seat, "Think of the Force, what it is to you,"

Helix didn't know why he was telling her to do such a thing, but she had already meditated before. Keslin had once taken her off for a hunt, only to settle them down in a clearing and tell her to focus on... Well, nothing.

It was how she had learned to build her Wall.

Helix focused on that now, sensed it, felt for any cracks or weaknesses. She was rattled from her encounter with Loren, surely his intrusion had been because of a fault on her part; the Wall had never failed her before.

She wasn't sure how long they sat there. She could sense Luke in the room, but he didn't speak or move and at times it seemed as though he didn't even breathe.

Helix became aware of a warmth in her palm after a while, and she opened her eyes, looking down. The crystal Luke had given her was no longer colourless; it seemed to glow a rich, dark blue.

She looked at Luke in alarm, to see he had opened his eyes and was smiling gently at her.

"What is this?" she asked, holding the crystal up, "It had no colour just moments ago,"

"It is called a kyber crystal," Luke replied, "They are used in the making of a lightsaber. Blue is the colour of the Guardian, people who use the Force as a protection for themselves and those they care about,"

Helix looked down at the crystal, then held it out to him.

"I see what you're doing," she told him, "I don't want to become a Jedi. I know you want to train me as your apprentice, but it has never been a dream of mine."

Skywalker waved a hand. "The crystal is attuned to you, now. Keep it with you; it will offer you protection if you meditate on it, will give you strength. It is a token of the living Force you use,"

Helix shook her head, before standing up and starting for the door. She paused, half-turning back to him. "You're wrong," she told him, "I don't use the Force, whether protectively or in any other way. I'm only sensitive, not adept,"

He smiled slightly at her, locking eyes again. "Of course you use the Force, Helix," he told her, "What did you think your protective wall is made of?"

* * *

Helix didn't want to see Loren. Even when General Organa herself gave Helix an assignment, Helix knew that she really should see her brother, at least to say goodbye. She felt like that was something important she should do this time; she had denied him a farewell last time, and he had become so unstable in the intervening time... Perhaps he needed a reminder, that he was strong enough to guide himself without needing her help.

"I wish you could have stayed longer," Azros sighed as he met her on the flight deck, "This'll be your first solo mission, won't it?"

"I'll be fine," Helix promised him, though she felt like it was a hollow promise, "A single person in a small Interceptor isn't as noticeable as a pair or more in a larger shuttle. A week, tops, and I'll be back. Then we can sort Loren out, even if we have to do it ourselves."

She had already - very carefully - considered the pros and cons of letting Luke train her in the Force, and had decided she would learn - but only the things she needed to resist Loren's abilities. She hadn't mentioned this to anyone else, though. Especially not Luke - he would have insisted they start immediately, no doubt. This assignment Organa had entrusted to her was far too important to put aside, even for her brother.

"I have this bad feeling-" Azros began, but Helix silenced him by hugging him tightly.

"I'll be fine," she told him, "I promise,"

* * *

 **A/N:** _Will she, though? Will she really be "fine"?_

 _Bear in mind, I have killed MC's before._

 _Am I the only one who thinks she's coming across a bit Sue-ish? Idk I always write strong female protagonists but sometimes they turn into Mary-Sues and there's nothing I can do about it. Opinions, feedback, concrit, all welcome._


	14. Pray

Azros told himself that Helix would be fine. She could look after herself better than most of the other Intel agents working for the Resistance, knew her way around primitive weaponry enough to be a threat even if she did find herself in a difficult position. She had told him to focus on his piloting, to not even worry about Loren, and so he decided to do that.

Loren still wasn't talking to him. Azros had lived with it his whole life, but given the events of the past few months, he had hoped that their brother-like bond might be re-forged. He had missed Loren, but the older didn't seem to care for him any more. Their working hours rarely fell at the same time, so it was rare for him to see Loren outside of work. Sometimes, he'd hear Loren's voice over the comms when he was flying patrols around the station, but usually he pretended he didn't have a brother, and that seemed to suit Loren fine.

"He's just busy," Rey told Azros one afternoon. Azros had begun to join her in the meditation room sometimes, enjoying her company more than anyone else, and they discussed a lot of things - Loren being one of them. Rey had told him about meeting Helix briefly, how Helix had seemed stunned to recognise her, had thought Rey to be dead - though why Helix would have thought that, Azros didn't understand.

"I'm worried about him," he admitted, "Helix was always able to pull him into line when he got too out of control, but aside from those few days, she hasn't been here since she started training,"

"She spoke to Master Luke," Rey reassured him, "I didn't hear what they spoke about, she wanted to discuss it in private, but I sensed she was troubled, and he's the only thing that worries her, if what you've told me is true,"

"I hope we can reach him before it becomes too much of a problem," Azros admitted.

He wanted to talk to Helix about it, learn how to talk to Loren about his problem without setting him off. The problem was, Loren didn't follow any predefined rules of human - or even sentient species - interaction, which made it difficult for Azros to translate. Helix, however - she was the same, but he had interacted with her enough that he could read her body language.

He had noticed when they'd last spoken that he also seemed to sense her moods. Perhaps it was an indication of spending so much time around her, or perhaps the new hardware had given him enough processing speed to recognise such things.

He waited eagerly for the end of the week. A week, Helix had promised, and then she would have two weeks rest, to recover from the injuries from her D'Qar posting.

He had mentioned it to Finn, who had been upset.

"They shouldn't have sent her on another assignment if she wasn't fully healed!" he had fumed, "She could make them worse, or endanger herself or the mission."

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Rey had said reassuringly, with a glance at Azros. He had told her of his sickening feeling when he'd said goodbye to Helix. She had been insistent in reassuring him that he was mistaken, but there had been something about her manner that suggested she had reason to doubt her own words.

Helix didn't return after the first week. The knot that had been tightening in his stomach clenched, and he was anxious with worry by the end of the second week. For some inexplicable reason, his leg had been aching for the past two days as well, and he wondered more than once if it was his body, warning him something was about to happen. He didn't often subscribe to superstition, but the pain in his leg seemed to be set off by nothing.

The knot of fear clenched in his stomach when he returned from his patrol at the end of the second week, to find Major Tanaka waiting for him in the hangar.

"Come with me, Kess," he told Azros, who signalled to his astromech droid to wait with the ship and followed Tanaka.

He was surprised when Tanaka led him to the restricted area of the station. Only a handful of the intelligence agents and recon agents were allowed to enter the area, Helix now among those notable few. Azros tried to contain his curiosity and excitement as he followed Tanaka into a small room.

There was a circular table in the centre of the room, around which a few people stood. Azros recognised Poe Dameron - _Commander_ Dameron, he reminded himself. Next to him stood Luke Skywalker, peering at something on the table and speaking softly to General Organa, who stood beside him. Beside her was a space, and on the other side of that stood Loren, of all people.

"Kess, please," General Organa gestured, and he hurried to join them at the table. He exchanged glances with Loren, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten sickeningly, all feelings of excitement banished from his mind. Organa's tone was one that he had seen her reserve for dire situations.

General Organa fixed him and Loren with a steely glare as Major Tanaka left the room. "I want you to understand that you are only here as a privilege, not because it is your place to know," she told them, "What you hear in this room is not to be discussed beyond these walls, not even with each other. For all intents and purposes, this meeting never took place. If you are caught passing along information from this room, you will be stripped of rank and discharged, do you both understand?"

Azros and Loren nodded slowly, carefully. Azros felt his leg aching again, and grimaced slightly, shifting his weight to his other leg. He would have to get someone in medical to check over the implant. Maybe a loose wire was wreaking havoc in his nervous system, or perhaps it was simply a telltale sign of stress.

General Organa turned to the table as the lights dimmed, "Early last week, we sent Agent Helix Reyne to recover four data pods from the planet D'evan. The task was projected to take a week, at most, as the planet recently surrendered to the First Order. We received a confirmation of landing from Reyne, and a signal confirming that she had obtained the pods. We expected a return signal before the end of the week; instead, seven days ago, we received a termination."

Azros had been told about those in training; if the ship was damaged to the point a total destruction was imminent, it would send out a strong, one-off signal in first generation binary, in the moments before the ship was destroyed. It couldn't be falsified, as it was the ship's self-destruct system that initiated the sequence, and the signal was sent exactly three seconds before the ship destroyed itself.

Azros felt his mouth go dry as General Organa continued. "We feared the worst until this morning, when this message finally reached us from a remote location on D'evan,"

She pressed a button, and a rough, faltering holographic image of Helix appeared. Binary issued from the astromech droid she had been assigned, out of view, and the figure nodded.

" _Better than nothing, C4_ ," her voice, distorted from the bad signal, stated, " _General Organa, this is Agent Helix Reyne reporting from D'evan. I regret to inform that my mission has been compromised. The informant who secured the target for us turned at the last moment and I barely managed to evade capture. I have managed to seize the target, but have been stranded on D'evan. This signal may take several hours or days to reach you, by which time it is likely I will have been detained. I am making my way to Point One, where I will leave a final mess-_ "

She dropped to one knee, crying out suddenly, before scrambling for a blaster and firing at something beyond the projection's range. A squeal from the droid was immediately followed by the message cutting out.

Azros realised he was gripping the edge of the table tightly, his heart pounding in his throat, and he could hear Loren breathing shakily beside him.

"We traced the signal back," General Organa continued, a map of a small planet appearing before them, "It appears to have originated from here, about a day's hike from the original target location of the mission, and half a day from the predetermined landing site. In accordance with her stated intentions, she is moving south towards the first rendezvous point, and analysis of the message confirms that she had intended to say "final message". As no such message has been received, we must assume she has not reached the point yet. The message was time coded at seven days ago, shortly after the termination signal was received. She is believed to be carrying a blaster, which would register on a weapons scan, and there is very little distance between her last known location and Point One. Commander?"

Poe inclined his head, looking thoughtful. "It'll be difficult, but I can do it,"

"You'll have to go without a droid," Skywalker told him, "And D'evan is more dangerous than it seems. Much of the water there contains a virus that attacks the nervous system and can cause death if consumed."

"I'll remember that," Poe remarked, straightening up, "I can leave immediately,"

"Then go," Organa told him, "And may the Force be with you,"

Poe nodded, pausing at the door. His eyes swept over Loren, settling on Azros. "I'll bring her back, I promise,"

Azros tried not to remember how Helix had promised that she would be fine.

* * *

Helix wasn't fine.

The virus had taken hold, spreading first through her injured leg and then through the rest of her body. Everything ached, but nothing more than her leg - it felt as though it were on fire, like a star was burning through her veins. Helix hadn't slept in days because of the pain, yet somehow she managed to continue moving, heading south towards Point One. If the infection hadn't passed by then, she would leave the data pods there and continue on, in search of someone, anyone, who could help heal this infection.

She had cut away the lower half of her trousers, exposing her lower legs, and had modified her singlet top to provide better camouflage. Her jacket had been torn into strips which had been used to form a tourniquet around the top of her leg, hopefully stopping the worst of the virus from spreading. She had passed through a small native village before the virus had struck, and they had given her what they called a sling - a long piece of cloth that wrapped around the waist and up over a shoulder, cutting across her torso diagonally. She had tucked the data pods into small pockets on the belt part, as well as anything useful she could carry, anything that would lend to her survival.

It had seemed easy at first. Now, her entire body wracked with pain, even breathing seemed a struggle.

She gasped, slumping to the ground. She hadn't eaten since the virus had set in, so distracted by the pain at first and then physically unable to hold herself steady long enough to get a clear shot, even with the blaster that she had eventually discarded.

Loren stood over her, shaking his head in disapproval. " _Weak,_ " he hissed at her, his voice strangely disembodied. Helix closed her eyes, knowing it to be one of the all-too-familiar apparitions that now invaded her waking moments. Some of them stood there and watched, others would try to fight her. Not a single one of them bled, though, she had discovered.

Unable to reach any other point, Helix stabbed the apparition of Loren in the knee, and he twisted and faded into nothingness, hissing his curses at her. Helix slumped back on the ground, exhausted but unable to sleep. They had been coming for her more and more frequently, different scenarios playing out, old nightmares returning. Rey in the Takodana forest with the metal-masked man, but it was Loren instead of Rey, now it was her, Helix, instead of Loren, now it was Loren behind the mask-

Sometime after dusk, reality bled through her delirium, and she sat up to inspect her wounded leg. Without giving much thought to it, she drew a line across the five-day-old blaster wound with her knife, drawing a dark line across her leg. The blood that drained out certainly didn't look like normal blood - it had clearly been infected with something, now jet black instead of dark red, and she watched with delirious, odd detachment as her blackened, infected blood drained away into the soil. She had added new fire to the burning that raged through her leg, but now she had also hopefully provided somewhere for that infected blood to escape.

She wanted to hope that someone would find her and rescue her, but the likelihood of that was decreasing every day. She would have to rig snares, have to go back to surviving on her wits, either until she died or someone found her.

At this point, Helix told herself, the former was more likely.


	15. Endurance

As it was with secret missions, Poe had swapped the flight suit for simpler clothing - a plain green shirt, Dark brown jacket, and hiking boots.

He had landed at Point One sometime before dawn, utilising the hidden landing bay and making a survey of the surrounds. No life forms had registered in the scan, but that didn't mean she wasn't still in the surrounds, making a slow approach.

Due to the nature of the assignment, he had been forced to leave BB-8 behind. He could have left the little droid with the ship, but BB-8 had been privy to some vital information about the Resistance, and if the droid was seized it could spell danger for the rest of the Resistance.

He set out as soon as it was light, scanning his surroundings as he moved. The landscape reminded him of Yavin, but more of a rainforest climate than sub-tropical.

It was close to midday, he guessed, when he heard speeder bikes passing by. Ducking beneath the waist-high ferns that seemed to blanket the area, he heard them pass by only a few metres away, pausing briefly.

"Anything so far?" one trooper asked. Poe dared to look above the ferns, and saw one of them holding a scanner much like his own. The trooper shook his head.

"Nothing so far. She can't be moving too fast, not with an injury like that,"

"If she escapes, we'll have to answer for it," the first reminded his comrade, " I'll go on to the next marker, double back and make sure we missed nothing."

They split up, the second turning his bike in a wide circle and heading back in the direction they'd come as the first continued on their original path. Poe tried not to worry - he had seen on her file, knew Helix had been injured in combat before and could handle the treatment of such an injury.

He hadn't mentioned it to anyone, but the General had already known that he had taken an interest in the girl's development. Just something about her-

The ground gave way beneath his feet, and Poe stumbled, tripping as an exposed root seemed to rise out of the ground - no, it was a rope. He tripped, hitting the ground hard on his side, and lay stunned for a moment.

The pointed tip of a spear appeared directly in front of his face, and he stared at it, then at the female holding. Her face was painted, a band of cloth wrapped around her forehead, and her clothing clung to her athletic frame. Her pants had been hacked away just above the knees, exposing her lower legs, and her right leg bore a strange vinelike scarring pattern that covered the limb.

She glared at him fiercely, green eyes peering at him from the brown paint that covered the skin around them. Poe raised his hands in surrender, before he realised-

"Helix?"

She twitched in response, still glaring at him. He tried again, "Helix, it's me, its Poe Dameron,"

She still didn't recognise him, he realised.

"How do I know its you?" she asked, a mixture of suspicion and uncertainty. He kept his hands up, and she shook her head, "You're not fooling me again,"

He remembered what Master Luke had told him about the water-borne virus, and his ship's computer had given him more information. Fire Virus, the locals called it, causing hallucinations that seemed almost real, altering the victim's entire perception of reality, eventually causing death. Once it was in the bloodstream, it left scarring patterns on the skin similar to the pattern of blood vessels.

Poe looked at her scarred leg again, and realised that she was probably suffering from it.

"Helix, its me," he told her, touching the spear, "It's really me, Poe. Just don't... Don't spear me, okay,"

"I'm going mad," she told him, eyeing him warily, "You keep being here, keep saying you're here to rescue me. I'm not moving the spear until you prove it's really you,"

She had created him, in her delirium. Re-created him, arriving to take her back home, as though it were some sort of sick premonition. Poe stared at her and she stared back, no sign of recognition behind those eyes. No light, no spark, no hope.

"The others," he swallowed nervously, still aware of the spear poised between his eyes. He had no doubt that, in her fevered condition, she would strike him right between the eyes, and that spearhead looked sharp enough to pierce his skull. "How did you know if they were real or not?"

"Dreams don't bleed," she replied simply, and he heard a definite shake in her voice. He nodded understanding - she had killed all the others, or tried to, and they had vanished.

Carefully, he pulled out his knife, showing it to her, "I'm real," he told her, drawing the blade across a fingertip and showing her the blood, "It's me. I'm real. See? Blood,"

Her lower lip quivered as she reached out to his extended hand, touching his fingertip, staring at the blood. She looked at him again, then at the blood. Poe was just beginning to realise how ridiculous it all was when she backed away, the spear disappearing from in front of his face.

Poe stood up, glancing back at the snare that had tripped him - primitive hunting, he realised. She had laid at least one snare to capture... Capture what? Humans? Stormtroopers? Food?

She stood back from him, still watching him warily, and he realised why he hadn't recognised her immediately - face paint and clothing aside. She was taller than he remembered, and no longer a skeleton with skin stretched over it; she had developed, grown into a young woman with a tone, athletic body and a sharp gaze. An old scar, two months old at most, was visible on her shoulder, and the scarring on her leg lent a warrior-like ferocity to her overall appearance.

If he had seen her at a glance, he would have assumed she was a local tribal warrior.

"You're real?" she asked, and he heard the thickness in her voice. He held up his hand, showing her the cut fingertip again.

"As real as you," he replied, "I was sent to find you,"

Helix's lower lip quivered, and he took a tentative step forward, reaching out to her, offering his hand.

He didn't realise it until she was in his arms, sagging against him. She had moved fast, almost too fast, and he had only just barely caught her in a tight embrace. She clutched at his shirt, body shaking as she sobbed into his jacket, and he held tight to her, trying to pour as much reassurance as he could into such a simple gesture. He wasn't Force-sensitive in any way, but he could feel her exhaustion, and wondered when she had last slept.

"Very sweet,"

The moment was shattered. Poe felt his heart rate accelerate as he heard the voice, one that still taunted him in his nightmares, and he felt Helix let go of him, both of them turning their heads to face this new threat. She shook her head.

"Not this one again," she said softly, almost to herself. She clutched Poe's sleeve, as if to remind herself that he was real, "This is the worst,"

"It's not a vision," Poe told her as the figure advanced, "I'm seeing it, too,"

Kylo Ren stood less than a few metres from them, the sunlight through the trees shining off his metal mask. Poe took Helix's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, although he didn't feel very reassured himself.

"I thanked the villagers who helped you," Kylo Ren told her, "They were very helpful in tracking you down. It's a shame they could not serve more use before they were executed."

"You're a monster," Helix told him, her voice shaking. Kylo Ren turned his attention to Poe, who felt icy cold fear clutch at his insides.

"The best pilot in the Resistance," he stated, "Such a pleasure to see you again. Unfortunately you are insignificant this time,"

He jerked his hand, and Poe felt something, an unseen force, catch him. He was flying through the air suddenly, then hit a tree - hard.

" _Poe_!"

Helix was rooted to the spot, frozen by her terror. The faceless creature before her turned his head to gaze at her, and she shivered, pushing her Wall out.

"The data modules," he said simply, "Where are they?"

"If I give them to you, would you let us go?" she asked, her voice shaking.

As if in answer, a large explosion came from somewhere to the south. Looking at the sky, she saw a huge fireball chasing into the atmosphere. The fighter, or ship, or whatever it was that Poe had brought here - that fireball meant it was gone.

"If you cooperate, I may simply just kill you here," the man told her, "Otherwise, we will have to resort to more painful alternatives."

"The villagers cooperated," she reminded herself aloud.

"And their deaths were swift."

Helix stuck out her jaw defiantly. "I don't feel like dying. You should have found me a couple days ago,"

"Such a shame that I did not," he replied, raising his hand.

In her most fevered moments, Helix had drawn the Wall, pushing it up to surround herself and protect her from the world. She had no doubt that it was strong, stronger than it had been against even Loren. So when she felt his Force brush against it, gently at first then more aggressively, seeking a fault, she knew he would find none.

"You are strong with the Force," he told her, "Stronger than wise,"

"I have strength you'd never understand," she replied, "Not all of it comes from the Force,"

Poe stirred, not far from where they stood, and Helix glanced in his direction, suddenly fearful. She had never learned to protect others with her Wall, had never needed to. Now, however, she wished she had learned.

The man must have seen her glance, because he reached out towards Poe suddenly, pulling the man to his feet and towards him.

"Your loyalty will be your downfall," he told her, clutching the barely-conscious Poe with one hand, "I cannot reach you, but perhaps he can,"

"Don't you touch him!" Helix spat. The black anger that she had kept suppressed for months rose up in her again.

"I won't lay a hand on him," the man stated, releasing Poe. He staggered briefly, before freezing, held in place.

Helix had seen this before, a person trapped in their own frozen body with just a wave of the hand from this man. It was what she had seen that had made her believe all Force-users could control another person's body.

She had never seen them gasp, though, and clutch at their throat as Poe began to do. Her sleep-deprived brain took a moment to realise what was happening, and she stepped back, horrified.

"Let him go! Please!"

Poe struggled to breathe, his face twisted in pain, and the masked man turned his steely gaze upon her.

"The data modules," he said simply, "Please,"

"Let him go first," Helix heard her voice shaking, felt tears stinging her eyes again, "Let him go and you can have them,"

He twisted his hand, and Poe slammed against a nearby tree, before beginning to rise off the ground, still choking.

"The data modules," he repeated. Poe's face was red from the exertions of breathing, and Helix struggled with herself.

"Don't," he gasped, eyes meeting Helix's. She was torn.

She reached into a small pocket on her sling, and withdrew three small data pods, showing them to the masked figure. "You can see I have them," she told him, "Now let him go,"

"Only when I have them in my hand," he replied, holding his other hand out to her. Helix knew that he was gesturing for her to approach, and although she didn't want to, Poe's face was beginning to gain a bluish tinge.

Tentatively, she closed the distance between her and the man, and dropped the pods in his hand.


	16. Romantics and Innocence

Poe dropped to the ground, released from his chokehold, and began coughing, gasping for air. Helix was at his side in a moment, helping him to sit up, and she hugged him tightly in relief.

The relief was short-lived, however, when Kylo Ren's lightsaber ignited just a few centimetres from her cheek. Reluctantly, she stood, moving back as he stepped between her and Poe.

"You're quite the match," he commented, "Loyal to the end, both of you. It's such a shame to destroy those so loyal,"

Helix knew before he even suggested it, knew before he moved. It was one of the few delirium that had played out and ended before she could intervene. She saw the deadly arc before the man had even begun it, saw where the blow would land, and realised she was screaming even as the man twisted to deliver the blow-

Poe didn't know exactly what happened next, it all seemed to move too fast for even him to keep track of. Helix screamed as Kylo Ren twisted, lightsaber swinging towards Poe, who was powerless to stop it - and then the lightsaber shattered.

Rather, the hilt had shattered. Without the emitter or energy field manipulator, the plasma blade disappeared, and the lightsaber was useless.

Kylo Ren staggered sideways with the attack of raw energy, the same force that had destroyed his weapon, saving Poe's life. He stumbled backwards, and Helix appeared at Poe's side, pulling him to his feet as blaster fire erupted around them.

"Run!"

* * *

"And you didn't even notice it?"

Poe dabbed gently at the graze on Helix's exposed upper arm, wiping away the blood that was still seeping from the injury. Helix watched his movements carefully, and shook her head.

"I was more worried about you," she admitted reluctantly, not meeting his gaze.

They had run, pursued by stormtroopers, sprinting through the undergrowth as the troopers followed them, always firing. Helix had never let go of his hand once, not even when they had reached the steep e!bankment and the river. It was there they had decided to stop, exhausted, and Poe had seen the deep blaster graze on her arm.

Helix had identified the water as safe, and they had refreshed themselves, before Poe had decided to treat the graze.

Poe wrapped a short length of bacta bandage around her arm, covering the graze, and pinned it in place with tape.

"If we're going to die here-"

"Don't say that," Helix told him, and he gave her a sharp look, fixing the bandage in place.

"Of we're going to die here," he repeated, "I'd like to know - what exactly are your feelings towards me?"

The question took her by surprise, and Helix frowned for a moment, thinking carefully.

"I don't know," she finally admitted, "I used to hear stories about you, things you'd done. You were one of the heroes, to me, and meeting you... Those first couple of times, I was always scared I would say something stupid or embarrass myself. But you..." she sighed. This was stupid, this whole thing, talking about feelings. If it was under any other conditions, she would have lied, or said they wait, or changed the subject.

But Poe was right, had voiced aloud something she had been trying to deny all afternoon. _They might die here_.

"I never had friends," she explained, "Growing up, it was always me, Azros, Loren and Keslin. Never anyone else. I didn't even know what a girlfriend or boyfriend was until Finn explained it to me. He was my first friend, and when you helped me land that ship, I thought of you as a friend as well, my personal hero. And then you were nice and handsome and charming," he smirked, and she slapped him gently on the shoulder, "Don't give me that look. You know its true."

"Half the Resistance tells me on a regular basis," he replied, but then the smile faded, "Are you trying to say... that you love me?"

Helix frowned. _Love_. "The only love I know is that for family," she explained, "I'm still working my way around understanding the depths of friendship - romance, essentially for now, is something to focus on in the future."

Poe frowned slightly, "You've never thought of someone in a romantic way? Kissing, touching, dating...?"

"I've never _had_ anyone to do that with," she told him, and not for the first time Poe felt sorry for the girl. Twenty-one and never even been kissed. At least, if he got back, he could tell Snap that he was right about her. They'd had a betting pool with several others, and Snap was the only one who had believed her to be completely, totally innocent.

 _If_ he got back, of course.

"You gave up the pods," Poe told her, "For me. You gave them up to save me, a weapon that you knew we have very little chance of stopping, just for me. You can't tell me that was a completely innocent act,"

"I never had anything," Helix told him, "My home was always where my boys were. That kind of loyalty, I guess, extends to my friends, the people I care about,"

"You compromised an entire operation for me," Poe reminded her. He was annoyed she had given up the pods, but she had already endured more than most could survive through - she probably hadn't been thinking straight.

She shook her head, and the corner of her lips pulled upward slowly. She dug into a pocket on her belt, pulling out something and holding out her hand for him to see.

"Before the virus took over my mind, I transferred the data on them to this," she explained, "Those pods are just raw data capsules now, waiting for information to be written to them,"

Poe could have kissed her. It was such a stroke of brilliance that he almost did, in fact, but managed to control himself. She still had her spear, as well as an assortment of primitive weapons that could be used for stabbing as well.

Helix stowed the new data capsule back in the pocket. "There's still a chance see might get off this rock,"

Even now, even against all the odds, Poe thought, she still had hope.

"What about you?" she asked, hesitating, "Do you have any...romantic feelings towards me?"

It was Poe's turn to think carefully. "I never had any siblings as a kid," he explained, "And in recent years I've developed this habit of taking in strays. You were one," he nodded to her, "You forced yourself to be strong, even though it was perfectly okay to break down. You changed completely when I told you about Azros, how he was okay. You weren't confident when you landed that ship, I could hear your voice shaking, but you did it because you knew people were counting on you. You stepped up to the plate. And I read your files about training,"

"Really?" she arched an eyebrow, "And you accused _me_ of having a crush."

He grinned, unable to help himself, "I _am_ a commander," he reminded her, "I'm allowed to take an interest in new recruits and trainees. Nice trick with the Hoth outpost, by the way,"

"My size gets me in a lot of places," she shrugged, "Of course I'm going to use it to my advantage,"

"It won't help you so much any more," he told her, looking her over again. This was pushing the boundaries of friendship, and definitely testing their relationship as officer and Agent, "You've grown up. You have the body of a woman now. A full figure,"

She hugged herself and looked away, and he realised he had made her feel self-conscious. He reached over, putting a hand on her arm. "It's a good thing," he reassured her, "Even after this ordeal, you still look healthy, and its clear that you haven't slept in days - you'll look far better after a full night of rest,"

"Do you think romantically of me?" she asked, choosing her words. The question took him aback at first, but then he remembered he had asked the same of her.

"No," he answered, trying to be honest with himself at the same time. There was something about her that he liked, more than he should, but he just couldn't...couldn't figure out what exactly.

Helix hadn't quite expected that. Poe looked at her in a way nobody else did - not Loren or Keslin, not even Finn, or even Nol, who had awkwardly admitted he liked her as more than a friend. Maybe that was another of those friendship things she was yet to discover.

She didn't want to admit, but it stung a little, to hear him say it so plainly. It wasn't as though she had been expecting him to come along and sweep her off her feet and declare his undying love or passion, nobody did that - not that she had seen, anyway. But she had, at least once, imagined that he felt romantically attached to her.

In one of her more delirious moments, she had dreamt of them clinging to each other, lips pressed together in what she had assumed to be a farewell kiss, but it was just a fever dream, nothing to dwell on.

"I'm relieved," she lied, smiling. He knew it was fake, and she knew that he knew, but they both pretended, for the sake of ease. "We should get moving. It'll be dark soon,"

"The Resistance will think carefully before sending another rescue after us," he warned her, passing her the damp cloth. She pulled up the leg of her shorts, wrapping the cloth around her injury there, but he reached out, stilling her hands. "That's a fresh wound,"

"Had to draw the infected blood out," Helix replied, "I was letting it myself, but then I was found by some natives who took me to their healer. She spoke enough Basic to explain the virus,"

"You were having visions,"

"Delirious hallucinations," she replied, "Some good, most...not good," she shifted uneasily, looking away, "I was already in a nightmare. I guess my mind just played on that and gave me things to make it worse. I was dying when they found me, according to the healer. Heart was slowing,"

"The scarring-"

"Permanent," she replied, "And I'll always have pain there, but it isn't unbearable now. I can walk, run, climb. Two days ago, I was ready to cut it off. Nearly did at one point,"

She had grabbed her spear and another primitive weapon that looked like Chewbacca's bowcaster, and slung the second across her body, wearing it like another sling. Poe grabbed the small pack he'd taken from the fighter when he had landed, and watched as she tightened the makeshift bandage around her injured leg. He had seen so many people who had been shot, and none of them had been able to walk, much less run, after the injury. Having now seen the extent of the full injury, he couldn't understand how she was still able to move, how she had survived. It was as though something was keeping her alive.

The Force. He realised as she checked the bandage around her arm, a reminder of their narrow escape. _His_ narrow escape. He had no doubt in his mind that it had been her, using the Force, that had saved his life and given them their chance to escape. Rey had told him, once, that trained Jedi could draw on the Force to absorb their pain, lessen a blow, even push their bodies beyond a point of endurance non-users could only dream about.

Somehow, she must have used it to protect him.

"How did you do it?" he asked her as she started to walk alongside the river. She glanced back at him. "You broke the lightsaber, pushed Ren away from us. He couldn't immobilise you. I know you used the Force, but I thought you didn't have any training?"

Helix grit her teeth, her stomach twisting nervously. She had hoped to avoid this topic.

"I don't know," she admitted, then gestured, "We should get moving."

* * *

 **A/N:** _Sorry to slow it down but I felt the need to explore a couple of things. Next chapter is also a bit slow._

 _As it is with writing a story, I'm re-working this properly and posting it under a new alias on Wattpad. My profile name is RothAirey and if you're keen, feel free to check out the new version. There's more fleshing-out of history, characters, and some new events and characters. I might post it on here once it is also finished, but for the time being they will be kept separate, to show the difference that can be made with multiple drafts._

 _Reviews are still very much loved and I am always starving for more. Thank you to those who have already reviewed, love you guys :)_


	17. You Were Right

Since joining the Resistance, Poe had done his fair share of survival-based missions. Having Helix there, however, gave him a whole new understanding of "survival".

When they found a small, easily defensible area, she showed him how to rig the same snare that had caught him. She had already made him throw his blaster away, after a narrow brush with a searching party of troopers, and had lent him her spear. He had never truly watched anyone hunt, kill, skin, gut and prepare an animal for eating, and if it weren't for the knowledge that he didn't have enough rations to get by on those alone, he would have politely refused the portion of small native animal she offered to him.

Several times, she would react to something, some small sound or movement in the forest that he had missed, and she would be standing, knife in hand, facing the percieved danger before he had even seen her stand.

He volunteered to take first watch, but she rebuffed him quickly.

"You need to sleep," he told her insistently.

"If I sleep, I won't wake up for days," she replied, "I'll take watch."

He saw it again, before she had the chance to repress it as she had done for the last few - her body shuddered suddenly, briefly, shivering from the cold night.

Poe shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. He had already tried pulling rank, tried to make her rest, but she had ignored him. Giving her his jacket was the least he could do.

While he rested, his small pack as his pillow, he saw the glint of her knife in the darkness, watched as she pressed it to her leg, to the point where the blaster wound was still healing. She had already explained that letting blood would help get the last remnants of the virus from her blood, but knowing didn't make it any easier for him to see.

If he'd known that returning her to the base, months ago when they'd first met, would lead to this... Poe wasn't usually one to ignore direct orders, but if it meant preserving her innocence, he would have gladly ignored those orders, would have returned her to Takodana, found a way to return her brothers. She was just a kid, no matter what age. Once, innocent in every aspect of the word. Now, she had killed, would readily kill, and was forced to endure pain that would defeat others.

Not for the first time, he wondered how she had managed it.

"How did you do it?" he asked suddenly, sitting up. Helix looked up sharply, silhouette moving in the darkness, and the blade flashed as she stowed it quickly.

"Do what?"

"Kylo Ren," Poe replied, trying to gauge the shadows on her face to see her expression, "You broke his lightsaber. Even Master Luke can't do that, I don't think,"

"I didn't do anything," she looked away, thin shafts of moonlight catching her face as she did. "I-I screamed, and then the saber broke. It wasn't me,"

"It wasn't me, and Ren wouldn't damage his own blade," Poe pointed out, "You're the only person who could have done it. You used the Force, I figured that much-"

"I don't use the Force!" Helix snapped, "I've never used the Force, I hate the Force. It wasn't me!"

She was scared. He could hear it in the quiver in her voice, the same slight tremor that he had heard when he had told her how to land the slave ship. He had seen her reaction to Master Luke when they had first met, how she had responded to finding out he was a Jedi.

"You're scared of it," he realised aloud, "Scared of the Force,"

"What it can do," she reluctantly replied, sounding defeated. "It... I..." she sighed heavily, "I was around eight when Loren started learning how to use it. It wasn't long after that he started reading my mind. He blamed himself for our parents' death, thought that if he'd been stronger in his powers he could have done more to save them. Have you ever had your mind read?" she asked suddenly, turning to look at him. Poe nodded, his mouth dry. It had taken months for him to stop reliving those torturous hours in his dreams afterwards, but he had been able to move on. Not forget, though; never forget.

"It hurts," he admitted, "Like their hand is inside your head, pulling your mind apart."

"Loren was fourteen when he started doing it," she told him, her voice shaky, "Inexperienced. No real idea of what to do, when or where to stop."

Poe crawled to her side without even thinking, pulled her against him. She didn't resist him, allowing herself this brief display of weakness. Even hunters had to be allowed a moment of weakness, surely?

"It took him nearly two years to get the hang of it, doing it without causing pain," she continued, a lump rising in her throat. She had never told anyone this, _any_ of it, and finally here was someone who she felt would listen. Here was someone who she could make understand. "I let him at first, because he's my brother and I wanted to help him. But then... He went too deep one day and I told him not to anymore. So he tried doing it when he thought I wasn't paying attention,"

"But you noticed," Poe murmured, resting his chin on her head. He didn't want to move too much, didn't want to disturb her.

"Of course I noticed," she sighed, "But that wasn't the worst of it. He discovered the concept of mind tricks, started trying them on me. I woke up one morning, didn't recognise my surroundings. I thought I'd been captured, or abandoned, didn't know where I was. I was hysterical and when Keslin got me out of the home, it was only made worse - because we were on a completely different planet."

Poe pulled away, staring at her, and he knew she was looking back at him, even though he couldn't see her eyes in the darkness. Her next words were choked, as though she was trying not to cry.

"When I was twelve, it turned out, we had a fight," she explained, "And he used the mind trick - and told me I would forget everything about him using the Force on me. When I woke up from his trance, I was fourteen."

Two years, Poe realised, staring at her in the darkness. Two years of her life that were unaccounted for, that she would never remember.

He pulled her against him, holding her in a tight embrace as she shuddered, silent sobs wracking her body. She didn't make a sound, but he knew she was crying because her tears were spilling onto his shirt, seeping through the thin fabric. One of her hands had wrapped itself in the folds of the shirt, and she clung to him, probably reliving the terror of that experience in her mind. No small wonder she was so afraid of Force-users.

"I had already learned to build a wall," she told him finally, after calming herself down. They had shifted, and she was curled up against him as they both lay on the soft undergrowth. Under any other circumstances, the way she had laid her head on his chest, and the way his arms were draped around her, anyone might have thought it suggestive of other activities.

"I made it stronger, the wall," she explained, "Loren got in so much trouble that Keslin split his skin with the belt, and he avoided me after that. Keslin had already shown me how to meditate, and I kept doing that, kept building the wall and making it stronger. Even Luke can't get through it, now,"

He had seen the note on her file about mental resistance, how she had held out to a point where Skywalker had almost refused to continue, pushing herself to a point where her body had given out. Now he understood how she had done it.

"What he did to you..." Poe trailed off, unable to find the right words to express his feelings. Part of him was angry at Loren, the boy - man, Poe reminded himself - that had abused his sister, his junior by four years, in such a way. That kind of damage left permanent scarring on a person's soul.

"There was one more thing," she said quietly, and he looked down at her. The moons had properly risen, four of them shining light into their small clearing. She was biting her lip, had raised herself on her elbows. "About a year after we moved to Takodana, the castle on the other side of the lake, it got attacked, and there was a battle,"

"I was there," Poe nodded, remembering. By the time he'd arrived, there hadn't been much of a castle left, but there were still plenty of stormtroopers.

"I was going through a phase," Helix admitted, "Wanted to run off and join the Resistance. I ran away, towards the fighting, thought I'd be allowed to join if I showed up and helped at a critical moment. Except..."

Her hands were shaking, and she clenched her fists but the shaking ran right up her arms. For a moment, she thought the virus had returned, had been playing a trick on her this whole time and found a way to make hallucinations bleed. If she was honest with herself, she might have preferred that to this. What she was about to say, she had never told anyone - not even her brothers.

"I saw Rey, and that man," she told him, "With the mask. Kylo Ren. He held her using the Force, and she couldn't move at all. She looked so afraid, helpless," she swallowed nervously, "Then he waved his hand, and she died,"

Poe had nodded as she spoke. He had spoken to Rey about it once, confided in her about their similar treatment by Kylo Ren. When the nightmares had been at their worst, she had found a way to calm him, using the Force to help him fall asleep more peacefully.

"Of course, she didn't actually die," Helix continued, glancing at Poe, "I know that now. I'd never seen someone lose consciousness without a physical blow, so it never crossed my mind that that was what had happened,"

"You thought she was dead," Poe nodded slowly.

"And believing that, believing it could take life with such a simple gesture..."

"You know now that not everyone is like that," he told her, "Master Luke would never do anything like that, reading your mind or using those mind tricks or anything, not without your permission,"

"He apologised for trying to read the truth from me," Helix admitted, "I... I went to him, last time I was home. Asked him to help Loren. I'm going to ask him to teach me how to help Loren. I have to," her voice hardened into determination as she said it, and Poe closed his eyes, unable to keep himself from smiling. Despite everything, she was still loyal to her brother. That kind of loyalty was difficult to find in people nowadays.

"Skywalker gave me this," Helix began, shifting around slightly. She seemed to think nothing of their intimate embrace, and it reminded Poe that he was, essentially, cuddling up to a child. He recalled the nightmarish two weeks he'd been forced to look after younglings, once, how one of them had found her way to his quarters in the following weeks when her parents had died. This was almost the same thing.

Something was glowing a dark blue, he realised as he looked down, and Helix lifted herself up to show him. He recognised it as a kyber crystal, but they were mostly colourless. This glowed a rich, dark blue, and seemed warm to touch when she deposited it into his palm.

"He said it was attuned to me," she told Poe, "Apparently, I use the Force, always have. That's what the wall is. Guardian, he said, I use the Force to protect myself and those around me,"

"That explains a lot," Poe murmured, before realising she was looking at him questioningly. The blue light from the crystal was strong enough to light her face up, and he could see she had removed the war paint, looked more like herself.

"I was puzzling over it," he admitted, "Everything that's happened to you, even just in the last week. It would have killed anyone else days ago - but you're still here. Better than that, you're sound of mind and still healthy - compared to what you could be," he amended, when she gave him a confused look. "I've heard of Jedi who could use the Force to prolong their lives, beyond what any normal physical body could handle."

He handed the crystal back to her, and she stowed it in her sling, sealing the small pouch she had tucked it into before settling down against him again.

"I've never told anybody else that," she finally said, "Never,"

"Not even your brothers?"

"They know about what Loren did," she amended, "But they don't know about Rey and Kylo Ren."

Poe brushed his fingers gently along her arm, feeling his jacket. She had relaxed against him, most likely unaware of the intimacy of their position, and he felt sorry once again, sorry that this was what her life had come to. Hiding out in a forest while the First Order hunted them down; she deserved better than this.

If they made it out alive, he vowed that he would adopt her - in a way. He had seen the amazement in her expression at the space port - he could only imagine what she'd look like if she saw Coruscant or Chandrila or any of those city planets.

He realised suddenly that her breathing had slowed, and lifted his head to see that her eyes were closed. Asleep. He couldn't move without waking her, so he lay still, paying careful attention to the sounds of the night, keeping watch. She might one day be a Guardian Jedi, but for now he could repay her by protecting her. He would figure out how to get both of them back tomorrow.


	18. Torture

**A/N:** _I'm going away for a few days and won't have an internet connection so I figured I'd out you out of your misery and give you the rest of the story. Interesting fact: I actually wrote this entire story backwards, beginning with that scene in the forest from before, with KR and Poe and Helix. Any who, enjoy the ending and be sure to keep a lookout for the next story (which I am currently working on), titled Resistance. Please leave me lots of reviews to come home to. I won't be back until Sunday._

 _If anyone is on the Star Wars amino app, look me up. I'm HelixReyne (I stole my character's name, so what?)._

 _Until Sunday!_

* * *

Helix was aware of sunlight on her, trying to creep through her eyelids, and realised she was still wearing Poe's jacket. Blearily, she lifted her head and peered around, blinking in the harsh light. Poe was asleep, his arm still curled around her, and she didn't want to wake him although she knew they would need to get moving.

She didn't need to wake him, however; he stirred, his eyes opening, and he blinked in the sunlight, before smiling at her.

"You slept," he murmured.

"Yeah," Helix frowned slightly. The main thing that had kept her awake in the past week hadn't been the troopers or the virus - it had been the nightmares, twisted and distorted by the fever and more graphic, more detailed, and more frightening than the hallucinations had ever been.

But she had no memory of those dreams on this morning. She had slept peacefully.

Poe stretched beside her, and she heard bones clicking into place as he yawned.

"Point Three is the next closest," he told her as she sat up, stretching her back. "They'd expect us to go to that one, so we should double back and make for Point Two instead,"

"Five," Helix told him, "There's a village of natives close to it. A sanctuary. If we can get there, they'll keep us safe from the First Order until help arrives."

Poe shook his head. "Five is too far away. We're better off going to Two,"

"Trust me-"

"That's an order," Poe told her. He hated pulling rank on anyone, but the way her eyes flashed as she closed her mouth made him feel uneasy. For a moment, she had become that warrior woman again, glaring at him as though she could have killed him then and there. The thought sent chills down his spine.

But the moment had passed almost as soon as it happened. "Fine," she replied tersely, "Two, it is."

Navigation wasn't one of her strong points, but fortunately it was one of Poe's. They began to head north-east, keeping their ears peeled for the sound of approaching speeders. The only tech they had between them was his holo-map, and her two data modules. Neither of those were large enough to show up on a scan, but they couldn't help but feel uneasy whenever they heard approaching speeder bikes.

Helix felt weary, as though her body was finally weakening. Poe had mentioned last night about people who could use the Force to push their endurance. She had always pushed her endurance, even before the Resistance. Was that how she had survived out here for the past week? By using the Force?

She dug into the pocket and removed the blue kyber crystal, inspecting it. As she did, she realised that she wasn't even looking at where she was going - but she was avoiding every exposed root, tiny hole, and following Poe almost exactly.

She replaced the crystal in its pocket, focusing herself. She could sense the Force, she knew that much - if she had truly been using it all this time, as Poe and Skywalker had both said, surely she would have felt it by now, or at least could feel it, if she focused herself. She didn't feel the same sickening fear she once had, now that she knew it could be used for good as well.

Still walking, she closed her eyes, letting her Wall slip away so she could feel beyond it. Reaching tentatively, she felt around herself, sensing for the slight feeling of disturbance in the air. It was never a true disturbance, but it seemed as such.

It was there. Sure enough, she was surrounded by something, thick and... she couldn't find the right word for it, but it was there. She could sense _herself_ using it, enhancing her own senses with it, could sense herself tracking Poe - that was how she was following him so easily - and sensing the ground ahead with it. She could feel it, flowing through her, wrapping around her, pulling her forwards.

"Helix?"

She opened her eyes to see that Poe had stopped, was looking at her curiously. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked.

Helix nodded slowly, mouth dry. "I... What you said last night, about me having the Force. You're right. And you were right about me using it. I... I think I've been using it right from the beginning,"

He frowned slightly, looking at her carefully. "Why do you say that?"

"Ever since I was young, Keslin taught me how to focus and magnify my senses. I always thought it was just a hunter's skill. There's things I can do, that until training I didn't realise others _couldn't_ do, like holding my breath underwater for so long or picking up a lost trail. I can... I had an affinity, Keslin used to say, could tame wild animals, but it wasn't an affinity, it was the Force," she exhaled a shaky breath, "I've been using it all along, and I never even realised,"

"You're only just realising this now?"

She caught the slight amusement in Poe's voice, and looked up to see him smirking slightly.

"Told you so," he said. Helix managed to smile back at him, and it felt like something she hadn't done in a long time. He retraced his steps back to her, pulling her into a quick hug and ruffling her hair. Helix realised detachedly as he released her that she had liked the gesture, that it had felt... _right_ , somehow. Intimacy without romance - Finn had explained it to her once. "Platonic", he had called it.

As Poe released her and turned to continue walking, she considered that she would rather that, a platonic relationship with him. Nothing romantic, no expectations, but the same intimacy they had shared last night, curled up against each other. She had liked that. She had clearly felt safe enough with him to fall asleep, something she had been fighting for days.

She stopped moving, her distracted mind sensing danger before she even realised it consciously. Poe must have sensed something, too, because he had also stopped, just a few steps ahead of her.

The blast came from nowhere, catching them both by surprise as it slammed into Poe's arm, sending him staggering.

"Poe!"

Helix ran to him, the two of them diving as more blaster fire erupted around them, shredding the leaves of the ferns, slamming into trees. Poe had gritted his teeth against the pain of the blast, covered the injury with his hand.

The firing stopped, and Helix didn't need to look up to know why. She could sense him, his raw anger almost palpable as he strode towards them. It was almost the same darkness that she had sensed in Loren, during their last encounter, but stronger.

The tendrils of Dark Force wrapped around her, jerking her into a standing position to face him. Poe struggled to sit up, and two stormtroopers grabbed him roughly, dragging him to his feet. He bit his lip, face twisted in pain as he tried not to cry out from the pressure on his injury.

"The chase is at an end, Helix Reyne," Kylo Ren told her, his voice dripping with malice, "I underestimated you during our last encounter. Rest assured, that is not a mistake I will make a second time. Bind her!"

He shoved her backwards, and she stumbled off-balance, unable to regain her feet before three stormtroopers grabbed her arms and shoulders. One of them clipped tight bracelets around her wrists, and she felt the icy sting of metal against her skin where they were fitted. The bracelets were bulky, thicker than her thumb all the way around, and plastic on all sides except for the part touching her skin. She could see through the plastic, recognising what looked like components for a small transmitter and a receiver.

"What are these?" she asked, still held by two troopers. She had the sickening feeling that Kylo Ren was smiling, and not in a kind way.

"They are a new variation of binding cuffs," he replied, "And they will ensure your total obedience."

Her total obedience. Helix didn't like the sound of that.

One of the troopers hit Poe in the stomach, winding him. Poe dropped to his knees, but he was hauled back to his feet.

"Leave him alone!" Helix shouted, struggling against the grip of the two troopers still holding her, "Don't hurt him!"

"Why shouldn't I?" Kylo Ren asked, as Poe's hands were wrenched behind his back and locked together, "He is of little use to the First Order,"

"You saw what happened last time you tried to hurt him," Helix said, her voice shaking. She fought to stay strong, felt the icy rage rising in her and pushed it into herself, strengthening her resolve, "I'll co-operate, come quietly, so long as you don't hurt him,"

It was a gamble, she knew it, but she had no other option. Poe managed to make eye contact, and he was shaking his head, but she ignored him. Kylo Ren wanted to kill him, even she could sense that; she _had_ to find a way to keep Poe safe, at least somewhat.

"You'll co-operate whether he lives or dies," Kylo Ren replied, before nodding to the trooper who had fitted her cuffs.

Pain erupted throughout her entire body, most intense at her wrists and lancing up her arms, spreading across her torso and down into her legs. Helix knew she was on the ground, could hear herself screaming, but she had lost control of her body momentarily.

The pain passed almost as quickly as it had appeared, and she lay gasping on the ground, surrounded by damo leaves and dirt. Troopers grabbed her arms, pulling her up again, but her legs were weakened and she struggled to support her own weight. She was aware of Kylo Ren standing right in front of her, watching her from behind his metal mask, but the shock had drained everything from her, even her desire to fight back. Instead, she just stared at him, helpless.

"Simple, yet effective," he remarked, "Put them on my shuttle."

At first, Helix was half-dragged, unable to walk. Poe kept looking back at her, despite four troopers between them, and she !managed what she hoped was a reassuring smile. The shock felt like it had fried her brain, but she was slowly managing to come up with a plan. She couldn't fight, not with Kylo Ren right behind her - even unarmed, she had no doubt that he could kill her or Poe with ease.

She pushed herself, forcing herself to carry on, and realised that she was, again, drawing strength from the Force. How could she have ever believed it to be her enemy, all these years? She could feel it, and she had found the right word to describe it: light. It felt like a soft, airy lightness around her, as light as Loren's had been dark, as Kylo Ren's was dark.

It felt like they walked for hours, but she knew that hadn't been the case; her immense fatigue had made it seem longer than it had actually been.

Kylo Ren's personal shuttle took up the centre of the platform, and six smaller TIE fighters were ranged on either side, as well as two troop carriers. Troopers moved about the platform, moving aside as their party crossed towards Kylo Ren's shuttle.

Now or never.

Helix felt the icy rage, buried in the pit of her stomach, and closed her eyes. It was constantly burning, like a blue flame that froze everything it encountered before exploding outward. She intended to use that explosion. She focused, pushing her fear, her Wall, into the pit, making it grow, strengthen, expand rapidly.

Kylo Ren was faster, though.

Snatching the control from the trooper, he pressed the button, sending volts of electricity charging through the girl's system, crippling her. For her insolence, he continued the stream, until she lay on the ground in a mess, tears streaming down her cheeks, beads of perspiration on her forehead, her breathing harsh and ragged.

"You cannot outwit me," he told her calmly, handing the control back to the trooper. She was half-curled on the ground, sobbing, and he surveyed her with disgust. She was so weak and pathetic.

"Your actions of defiance have cost you," he told her, as she struggled to sit up, "More dearly than you thought they would. Kill the pilot."


	19. Survivors

Poe felt his heart hammering in his mouth as he was forced to his knees, a blaster aimed carefully at his head. Helix had flung herself at Kylo Ren, clutching at the hem of his cloak, sobbing desperately.

"No! Please!" she cried, holding onto the thick fabric although Ren had taken a step backwards on disgust, "Please, don't. I'll obey, I swear I'll obey. Just please, don't kill him!"

She had finally broken. All the pain and exhaustion and stress from the past several days had finally gotten to her, worn her down, and now she knew she was breaking. If her last hours would be spent with this monster, she would do whatever she could to make them as painless as possible for herself.

And she would try to save her friend.

"I'll do anything," she stated, sitting back on her heels, letting go of his cloak, "Anything you say. Please," she could feel more tears running down her cheeks, "I swear,"

"You have no reason to agree to this," Kylo Ren told her. Helix glanced over to where Poe was kneeling, blaster aimed at his head, and she could see, even from this distance, that his eyes were watering.

"Don't," he whispered, and she heard it despite the distance between them.

"You let him go," Helix told Kylo Ren, looking back at him as he towered above her, "Let him go, give him a fighter or some sort of transport. You let him return home, safe. I'll do anything," she reached up, touching his gloved hand, "You can have me-"

" _NO_!"

"Don't argue with me!" she told Poe, who had begun struggling, trying to stand up as the troopers forced him back onto his knees.

"I'm not leaving without you!"

"You either go without me or not at all,"

Poe stared at her, shaking his head. Helix turned to Kylo Ren.

"I'll cooperate," she said, "I swear, on his freedom,"

"You feel strongly about this man," Kylo Ren noted looking between the two of them. He hesitated, and for a terrifying mkment, Helix thought he would refuse. "Release him,"

"But," Helix said, as stormtroopers released Poe's binders, dragging him to his feet, "You have to let him leave. Once he clears the system, he radios back. Then you can have me,"

"Helix, don't do this!" Poe shouted. Although he was no longer bound, he was being held by two stormtroopers, stopping him from attacking in any way.

"Very well," Kylo Ren stated, gesturing, "We will see him off now. You can fly a TIE fighter?" he asked Poe.

"I can fly anything," he snapped. Kylo Ren gestured to the two troopers who still held him, and they hesitated, before reluctantly following orders.

Helix watched as he was half-dragged towards a TIE fighter, a sick feeling in her guts as Kylo Ren clamped a hand on her shoulder.

"Your compassion is your weakness," he remarked, "Your feelings for him have decided your fate, and you will come to regret it in time."

Poe was looking over his shoulder as the troopers marched him towards the TIE fighter, the same sick feeling in his gut as he saw Ren clamp a hand on Helix's shoulder. For a sickening moment, they looked like a grotesque tableau of Master and apprentice.

She had signed her own death warrant, he knew that. She probably knew, too. He had promised to bring her back, promised to protect her, to show her other worlds full of sentients. All broken promises, now. So many things she had never - and would never - get to experience, so many years ahead, and she would never see them...

He threw off the troopers suddenly, decisively, half-running back towards her. She took a few steps towards him, but he reached her before she had moved too far, sweeping her into a tight embrace. Then he kissed her.

It was her first, and she had no true idea of what to do, but she followed his lead, kissing him back while her hands worked quickly, pressed in between their bodies, where no one else could see her actions.

When he felt her slip something into his pocket, he broke off, still holding her close but staring at her. She was crying, and tears clung to her lashes as she gazed up at him, clutching his shirt. She buried her face in his chest, and he felt the dampness of her tears, once again seeping through his shirt. Her body shook with each sob, and he was reminded of their first meeting, when he had held her after telling her that her guardian had died.

She looked up at him again, and he kissed her a second time. First and last.

She was wrenched away suddenly, and he felt troopers grab his arms, pulling him away from her.

"It's time for you to leave," Kylo Ren told him, his voice cold. Poe nodded, his throat tightening as he looked at Helix again.

"Look out for Azros," she told him, "Help him, in any way you can.

"I'll come back for you," he promised her. Helix knew that it would be a suicide mission if he did, that there was very little chance General Organa would send an entire squad after just one girl. It was too risky.

"I'll be waiting," she told him. A lie to make both of them feel better.

He gave her one last, tentative grin before climbing into the cockpit of the fighter. Helix watched as he flipped switches, and their eyes met across the distance between them. He paused as the engines ignited, giving her a salute.

"You love him," Kylo Ren stated as the fighter lifted into the air, speeding towards.

"Yes," Helix replied. It was easier than explaining the truth.

"Love weakens you," Kylo Ren told her, steering her towards his shuttle, "It is pointless, can destroy you."

Helix obeyed as he directed her to a seat inside, albeit reluctantly.

"Tell the blockade to destroy him,"

" _No_!" Helix cried, "We had a deal!"

"You should have known," Kylo Ren told her, gesturing for two stormtroopers to hold her in place as she struggled to free herself from the harness. Helix had a slight view of the sky outside through the cockpit window, and as they ascended she saw flashes of gunfire from the Star Destroyers ahead of them.

He was the best pilot in the galaxy. He would make it, get through the blockade and out of the system. He would make it home, and maybe even try to come back for her. The last part was unlikely, but she had always lived in hope. She had to hope that he would at least survive.

She _had_ to.

* * *

The TIE fighter crashed into the main hangar bay, flipping end over end as the wings snapped off, leaving only the cockpit to roll to the far end and crash against the wall. Azros saw it, was one of the first to reach the broken fighter and push away the shattered glass of the cockpit.

He was startled to see Poe Dameron, very alone and very battered. Poe looked at him, not quite seeing him, before his eyes closed and he slumped in his seat.

Azros feared the worst, but as he and two other deck hands pulled Poe from the fighter, he saw the man was still breathing and heaved a sigh of relief. A med team were already there, and they pushed Azros away gently as they began to fuss over Poe's unconscious form.

"Why was he flying a TIE?" one of the deckhands asked Azros, "That's a First Order fighter, why was he flying it?"

Azros opened his mouth to explain the mission Poe had last been sent on, but remembered General Organa's words and closed his mouth.

"Maybe he got captured and escaped again," another hand offered, "Oh for two, the First Order would be better off trying to just kill him next time,"

Azros closed his eyes, trying to find that quiet, happy place Loren had once mentioned. With all the horrible thoughts racing around his mind and the ever-tightening knot in his stomach, he could really do with a "happy place".

He followed the team as they transported Poe to the medical wing, then sat in one of the seats in the waiting area. He wasn't surprised when General Organa arrived, looking tired and as though she had almost run there.

"Is there any word?" she asked Azros, who shook his head. He was stunned to see her so out-of-character, so informal. For the briefest moment, he realised that he wasn't seeing a General and leader of a military Resistance - he was seeing the woman herself, perhaps not fragile as any would imagine, but this was a woman who cared. The way she waited, standing directly in front of the door, spoke volumes of the relationship she had with Poe Dameron, beyond that of General and Commander.

He stood up and put an arm around her shoulders. She almost flinched, looking at him, and he led her to the seats. She protested, but he reminded her that they were right beside the door, would be the first people the medical examiners would see when they brought news.

At some point during the anxious wait, they began holding hands. Later, Azros reflected that it was this simple gesture, physical contact with another human, that had kept him grounded enough to focus on the present and the facts that he had been presented with, rather than let his mind run wild with possibilities that would only cause him to worry even more.

He didn't know when Finn and Rey arrived, but they were there when the doctor emerged with a smile.

* * *

Azros was standing beside Dameron when Loren went to see him. Dameron had been severely injured, he had been told, and would not be released from medical for a few days.

He saw the older man sitting up in bed, Finn and that Jedi girl, Rey, also with him. Dameron saw him first, must have seen his expression, because his face fell. Loren knew that he was slightly afraid, could sense it in the older man, but it wouldn't be enough.

"You left her there," he said, approaching the bed, "She trusted you to help her, and you left her there. _You promised to bring her back_!" he shouted, feeling his rage flare up inside him.

"There was nothing I could do," Dameron stammered, "She gave herself up-"

"She would _never_ do that!" Loren shouted, feeling angry tears spring to his eyes. He wanted to hit Dameron, as hard as he could, as many times as he could. _He_ had left Helix behind, in the hands of the First Order, saving himself first. "She would _never_ give herself up, she _knows_ that she always needs to come back!"

He felt Finn's hand on his shoulder and grabbed the man's arm, shoving him away so roughly Finn hit the ground. Rey took a step back, and he saw her hand go to her lightsaber. It only annoyed him more, seeing that weapon hanging from her hip. _He_ was more deserving of it, was more powerful than her. _He_ should have been Skywalker's apprentice, not her.

"Loren..." Dameron had leaned forward, was gazing at him, entreating him to understand, to listen.

"She _trusted_ you!" he raged at Dameron, "She _believed_ in you, and you let her down! You _left her behind!_ "

He was charging before he even realised it, moving for Dameron. He expected it when Rey drew her lightsaber, expected Finn to make a grab for him, expected Dameron to grab for something, anything that could be used to defend himself.

He didn't expect Azros to tackle him, pulling both of them to the ground. He didn't have a chance to push Azros off before the younger was sitting on top of him, and just when Loren expected it least, Azros hit him, hard.

Winded, Loren coughed as Azros stood up, standing over him. _Azros_ , of all the people in the room.

"Don't you get it?" he shouted at Loren, "She's not dead! She's sensitive, like you and me, like Rey. They won't kill her, not unless they have no other choice. You're supposed to be the adept one, but you can't even sense her!"

Loren pulled himself to his elbows, aware that Rey had stowed her lightsaber and Finn had moved between him and Dameron. He glared at Azros. "What do you mean?"

"Can't you feel it?" Azros asked, incredulous, "Helix is alive, even Rey can tell you that. She's in pain, but she's _alive_ , and she will force herself to stay alive because she is a survivor, just like Keslin, just like my father, your mother. Just like you and me - she's a Survivor,"

Loren stared as Azros turned away, before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He didn't like to meditate on things, simply because it wasted so much time, but this was something he needed to do. Azros could sense her, and Azros wasn't even adept. He had to prove Azros wrong, or at least demonstrate his ability and match the younger.

He reached out, his question of her swirling through the space. He could hear the others talking softly, but tuned them out.

She was there. He saw her face first, pale and sweating, eyes closed in a half-sleep, her breathing laborious. She was trapped in a metal bed, metal restraints holding her in, tilted up so she was almost standing. She looked in pain, as Azros had said, but she was definitely alive. The ragged gasps that were her breaths testified to that.

Loren stood up. He caught Dameron and Finn's wary glances, but he no longer wanted to be in this room. Brushing himself off, he left. Helix had counted them friends, but when she needed them most, they would do nothing. He couldn't stand to be near them.

"Loren-" Poe called out, but the door had already closed.

"Just let him go," Rey told him soothingly, smoothing his hair down, "He'll be alright. He just needs to get his head around it all."

* * *

There came a night, not too long after, when Azros woke with a start. He had to splash cold water on his face, forcing himself to wake up properly, before returning to his room to find Loren sitting on his bed.

"You felt it, too," Loren said softly, not looking at Azros as he entered. Azros opened his mouth to ask what, but remembered his dream, and closed it. He knew neither of them wanted to say it, but somebody had to, to get it out in the open.

"I can't feel her anymore," Loren stated, and it occurred to Azros that Loren might not, in fact, truly know. "You were always closer with her, I realise that now. I pushed her away, by practicing on her. I just wanted to be great, and I wanted her to learn as well. I thought she would realise, would thank me. I realise how stupid I was, how... blinded," he looked up at Azros, and Azros realised that he'd been crying, "I was focusing on her, and it was like the signal cut out. She faded, and I-I can't sense her anymore."

"Did you see a vision, or anything?" he asked. Loren shook his head.

"If either of us saw it, it would have been you. She was closer to you. Azros..."

His question hung in the air between them, Loren unwilling to ask, Azros unwilling to answer. Finally, Azros decided. He couldn't do it, but he knew he had to. Loren would drive himself mad if he didn't know.

Azros took a deep breath. This wouldn't be easy, for either of them. But it had to be done.

"She's dead, Loren."


	20. Epilogue: The Death of Helix Reyne

**A/N:** _Always gotta have an epilogue. As always, tell me what you think. For those with Jedi Amino, add me - exclusive sneak peek at the next story involving the Reyne/Kess trtrio will be posted probably on Sunday evening. Until then, adios!_

* * *

I can't sleep.

The energy charges run every thirty seconds, strong enough to cause discomfort but weak enough that they don't do any severe damage. The bed is cold and metal, and to just lay in it is painful.

I feel him pushing at my thoughts, and turn my head to look at him. He stands on the other side of the chamber, the door open beside him. He takes a step forward and the door slides closed so suddenly it may as well have been slammed. Feebly, I pull at the restraints as he approaches, and he reaches out, hand hovering close to my cheek.

"You are too weak to stop me," he says, his voice deep and intimidating, "I can take whatever I want, and you know this."

I do know this; I can feel him looking among my thoughts, reading my memories, and I can't do a thing. I haven't slept in the twelve days I've been here, and I had barely slept for the week before that. My body is weak, and the torture probe they used on me yesterday seemed all the worse for the punishments I was subjected to.

"Why don't you just hurry up and kill me?" I asked. I had fought it at first, but I knew the Resistance wouldn't be coming, not this time. I was in a torture cell, in the heart of one of their ships, and not even the Resistance was crazy enough to launch an assault for one person.

"You will be pleased to know your pilot friend escaped," Kylo Ren says, moving slowly towards the edge of the room.

"I hate to say "I told you so"..." I reply. I can't help but smile slightly. Poe made it, he's alive. The data modules would have been handed back to General Organa, the mission completed.

"You gave him the data pods," Kylo Ren says, turning to face me, "I saw it. Why do you think I did not want him to escape?"

"You could have stopped him, gone back on the deal,"

"It was a deal,"

I stare at Kylo Ren. In the forest on D'evan, he indicated more than once that he didn't care about any of the weak attempts at a deal. Now, though?

Another shock runs through, a sharp jolt of electricity that startles me, and I cry out. He is still in my mind, I can sense, but I'm too weak to push him out.

There is a mechanical hiss, and the helmet detaches. He pulls it off, and I can't help but stare at the face of a young man. Dark hair surrounds his head like a sort of halo, and the first thought that strikes me is that he looks sad. I had given only a little thought to what he would look like without the helmet, but I never expected him to be so young.

He approaches slowly, dark eyes cold and calculating. I instinctively strain to get away from him as another shock runs through my body. The shocks seem to be increasing in intensity, and I gasp sharply before it knocks the breath from me. I slump in the restraints, breathing deeply, and feel a cool hand on my forehead. He has touched my skin before, fingers brushing against my cheeks, hand wrapped around my throat, but this is the first time I have felt his skin on mine, no leathery gloves in between.

"You will know pain worse than this before you join me," Kylo Ren tells me. He has pushed my head back, so I'm looking directly at him, his cold eyes staring deep into mine. I shudder involuntarily at how cool his skin is against my forehead, almost as if he is dead inside, and I close my eyes.

"I'll never join you,"

"You will call me "Master"," he says, with such certainty that I open my eyes and look at him, "You cannot deny it; this is your fate. Supreme Leader Snoke has forseen it,"

I remember the Tammuz-an, months ago on the slave ship. "Sacrifice all for the lgith, or forsake everything for Dark". Was this what he meant?

"Then he's either lying or wrong," I say, gritting my teeth as another shock runs through, "I'll _never_ join you."

"You cannot deny your power," he says, his hand sliding down to caress my cheek. I don't want to admit it, but the coolness is a welcome relief, and it disgusts me to realise I don't want him to remove his hand. "You are not the strongest I have seen, but for one with no prior training, you are surprisingly skilled. I will take you as my apprentice, and in time, you will become a Knight of Ren."

"No!" I cry. My body convulses involuntarily at the next shock, and he takes his hand away, moving back towards the edge of the room, beside the door. I can see the controls for the restraints there, and he reaches for them, slowly turning a small dial.

The next shock cuts right to my core, feeling as though everything has been set on fire within me. I hear myself scream, and slump in the restraints again.

"You will die very slowly and painfully if you refuse," Kylo Ren tells me. I look up at him, breathing heavily, as he approaches again. He reaches out, hand hovering in front of my face, "Your thoughts are on your brother," he remarks, "He troubles you. Long has he been utilising the Force to be in your mind-"

I scream as another wave runs through, gasping weakly for breath when it has passed. He is still in my mind, searching through my memories aggressively.

"Perhaps your brother would be better suited to join us," he says softly, and I feel something huge and black rise up in my chest. The Rage.

"Never!"

He smiles, stepping back as another wave causes me to scream. "He is weak, a slave to his emotions," he says, "He would be easy to turn, much easier than you."

"You'll never get at him," I tell him, gasping, "He's with the Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. _Argh_!"

Kylo Ren pauses by the controls again, turning the first dial again, increasing the intensity of the shocks, then turning another dial.

The next wave last longer, and I scream from the pain, writhing in the restraints. It lasts for a few seconds, but feels like an eternity.

My breaths are short and weak when it finally ends, and I can barely move. All my energy has been sapped, and I can't even raise my head to look at him.

"You can make this stop," Kylo Ren tells me, "You must simply accept the inevitable. I can help you," he says, closing the distance between us again, his face close to mine as he searches my face, "I can help you, you only need ask. You will learn the Dark ways of the Force, under my tutelage, and I can help you become more powerful than your brother, than even Skywalker. Unlimited power, Helix," he says softly, stroking my cheek with a single, cool finger. For a moment, I close my eyes and allow him in. His presence is soothing against the pain coursing through my body.

But I can't. "No," I tell him, feebly shaking my head. He looks sadly at me, before moving back to the controls. I feel my heart racing, beating weakly as I anticipate more pain. He presses something on the panel.

"Then you will know pain,"

My body explodes, everything on fire all at once, the energy attacking every square centimetre of my being. I can hear myself screaming, feel tears running down my cheeks, and realise that blood is running from my nose. I'm moving in the bed, writhing painfully, convulsing with each wave, begging for it to stop. My heart stops, just for a brief second, and it is the worst pain I have ever known, before the energy forces it to start again. I feel my skin burning, my eyes screwed tight shut with the pain. My throat feels as though I am swallowing a blade, my screams choking as I strain my voice. Breaths come in gasps at first, then not at all, yet still I have the breath to scream-

The restraints unlock, and I fall to the floor like a dropped stone, crumpling as I hit the cold metal. I am aching all over, still on fire, and choke on my own breath, coughing spatters of blood onto the floor.

"This will be how the last of your days are spent," Kylo Ren's voice says softly. I press my forehead against the floor, breathing heavily. My entire body convulses painfully as I cough again, more blood speckling the ground. I realise my nose is still bloody, and I can hear the ragged gasping that is my breathing.

If this is how I am to die, I realise I don't want it. This is far worse than anything I had ever imagined, worse even than the fire infection. I feel tears stinging my eyes again, and another cough shakes my body, increasing the pain.

"You are pathetic," he tells me, and I realise he is standing over me. I open my eyes as he turns, walking towards the door as it opens.

"Put her back in the restraints and set it to continuous," he says to someone. More, more pain, continuous pain. My mind screams _No!_

I am trying to push myself up before I realise it. Weakly, but as loud as I can muster, I call out to him - a taunt, yet a plea at the same time.

" _Master_!"

I manage to push myself up with one arm, hearing his footsteps stop. My arm gives out after shaking violently, and I hit the floor again as slow footsteps approach.

"What did you say?"

I can't deny it. I have to do this, if I am to avoid that pain. I can't stand to die that way. "Master," I gasp, turning my head to see him. My heart is fluttering weakly, and I'm almost certain it is failing as he crouches beside me.

He places a hand on my forehead, cooling the skin there, and I gulp back a sob as the sound of my own heartbeat stops. With my last breath before the blackness covers my vision, I gasp out a plea.

"Please, Master...help...me..."


End file.
